1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Another new guy, bit long....sorry.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by alwaysanoob, Jan 12, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. alwaysanoob

    alwaysanoob New Member

    Hi all,

    Another new guy here, I am 35 and have had problems for most of my life. Up until the
    last few years though they have been quite manageable. I suffered from severe mental
    abuse from a teacher in primary school which really destroyed my self image for many
    years. I had to work really hard at it for close on 20 yrs to get to a point where I thought
    she was actually wrong, but unfortunately even though I managed to control the
    depression and suicidal thoughts I believe it has given me a pre-disposition to negative
    thinking. My big problem now though is health, I have always been fit and healthy with
    a few niggles but nothing major. About 10 yrs ago it (or should I say I) all started to fall
    apart. It started with sinus problems, moved onto migraines, then bad hips, then bad
    knees. 3 years ago I woke up with a really sore neck which went to my back as well and
    has stayed ever since. I also have 14 peptic ulcers to add to the mix which I thought
    were healing with medical treatment but they have gotten worse than ever lately. There
    just does not seem to be a specialist that can help me with any of these problems,
    they do not actually say I don't know but I've seen that look of frustration so many
    times as a specialist realises his treatment is not working that I can recognise it. I had
    operations on both hips 8 weeks ago but am not seeing the improvement the surgeon
    was expecting, and he can't figure out why. My life is now just a series of constant pain
    which does not seem to have an end. I would not call myself suicidal, but I can honestly
    say that the only reason for me not to do it is because I know my wife would hate me
    forever. She would not see it philosophically. I had suicidal thoughts many times before
    but it was always a bit fancifull in reality, kind of a way of imagining an escape if you will.
    Now is different though, it's genuine....I really want to die......because there is no way
    to make yourself feel better about physical pain.....it's there all the time and you can't
    see it in a more positive way, it's pain, it hurts no matter which way you try to view it.
    My reason for being here is that I don't want to feel this way, especially since I know for
    my Wife I will never do it, but that just makes it even more frustrating. Is there anyone
    who has dealt with health issues like these for a long time, but finally managed to sort
    them all. Hearing that this has happened is the only thing that can really help right now,
    I can't ignore the pain but maybe I can at least convince myself that it can end. Wow this
    is really long, sorry guys!!!!!!!

  2. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum. :)
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...I have a degenerative neurological disorder and neuropathic pain almost all the time...like you I go to sleep and wake up to it...I have found some things that have helped...I have been to 6-7 pain specialists who made differing suggestions, but found one medication to be most effective...of course, the medical profession is wary to prescribe the necessary dose (dont want to make the patient a drug addict, you know), but I finally was able to convince someone that if I do not get relieved of some of this pain, it will not be a concern...so my dose is near what I need at times...surprisingly, some non-conventional approaches, yoga, hypnosis and such (and I am not usually prone to doing these things) have been helpful as well...I hope you aggressively seek some resolution, discuss your care with a trusted pain specialist, and move...the more you move, the better everything is...swim, tai-chi, something...just move...even though I am in a wheelchair, I work out 3 times a day (I used to be a dancer and a runner), which has helped with everything, especially my mood as I used to use exercise as a stress release...best of luck to you and please PM me if you would like to 'talk' to another member of the 'it hurts like Hell' club
  4. alwaysanoob

    alwaysanoob New Member

    Thanks for the welcome guys. Yeah it is good to move as you say, I mostly do martial arts which was good but the hips and ulcers stopped that (for a while). I absolutely love the martial arts so I will def get back to it asap. Got a knee to the stomach with the ulcers which prompted me to stop until they heal, not a pleasant feeling I can tell you that!!!! You know it's funny, I have copped broken ribs, black eyes, cracked fingers many times but it's that niggling chronic pain that just has the ability to destroy your well being. Anyway, thanks again guys.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.