another new person lmao

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by jetlignite, Sep 14, 2016.

  1. jetlignite

    jetlignite New Member

    hi im jess and im completely hopeless haha

    my mother was a sociopath who disowned me when i was 8, my father hated me my whole life and disowned me this year after i moved out (following 5 years of neglect and abuse), my grandma loved me but died of cancer 2 years ago, and my uncle was a bit... touchy-feely, if you're catching my drift, when i was 12.
    when i was 14 my dad's girlfriend at the time threw all of my identification in the garbage and blamed me, effectively ruining my life. i never got it back, and now im completely trapped. i cant get a job, i barely even got enrolled in school.

    all of my family is gone now. i moved halfway across the country to live with my online friend's family and escape my dad (stupid move, im already well aware) but as it turns out, her parents are just as bad as my dad was, and my friend is very hard to handle. im an extremely cold and angry person with pretty hard-to-manage aversions to touch and noise, which she has made no attempts at being nice about. she hugs me constantly, shoves me around, pokes me, etc. and then gets very hurt and angry when i tell her to stop. she's also really, REALLY loud. i know im being unreasonable, and i know she shoudlnt have to change at all for me and im just horribly selfish and disgusting, but i just cant handle it.
    im extremely self loathing and i have mood swings so volatile that i cant function normally in school at all. i take little to no care of myself and dont do any of my responsibilities. everybody around me hates me. i see no point in continuing to live when the government will not give me my ID, so i cant even get a job and save up to move out. im trapped here for good.

    thats about it...
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome to the forum. Is moving home an option?
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Jess, I don't believe you're hopeless, you've had a tough life that's made you feel that way. There must be some way you can get your ID back, all can suggest is call around the government offices and see if you can get some help with this.
    At least that'll allow you to get a job and give you some hope for the future. I'm glad to hear you were at least able to get into school. I can relate to not liking loud people :) they can get on your nerves if you're a quiet person. I wish I had more answers for your situation, but I'm sorry I don't. Anyway, welcome to the forum, you'll find a lot of caring people here that will support you. Take care of yourself.
    sahel likes this.
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. There are a lot of people here who suffer but we help each to get through each hour and day. You have gone through a lot but you have the rest of your life ahead of you. I know you are hurting but try your best to survive.

    I know it's hard at the moment but please keep posting here and we try our best to help YOU. Please take care.
  5. jetlignite

    jetlignite New Member

    @Brian777 thank u for the reply!! haha ive tried but unfortunately there is a law that i cant get my ID unless i have a "guaranteer" who is an upstanding member of the community that ive known for at least 2 years. they have to vouch for me. i dont have one of those, ive only lived her for 5 or 6 months. we sent the government a letter months ago but it seems as if theyre not going to respond or acknowledge it
    thank u for the help anyways though!!
    Brian777 likes this.
  6. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    Hello Jess, I am Barry

    Thank you for joining us here at SF. Thank you for sharing your story with us. If you get really, really bored, you can read my personal story below in green. Just know when you are here, you are safe. No one will judge you, no one will ridicule you. That is not tolerated here.

    I feel like you are a good person, who has been through a very tough time in her young life.

    You have two big problems right now, no ID and you are living in a toxic environment for you. Ok, so we will discuss these issues , individually. Ok how do we get Jess an ID. Can you call the hospital you were born in and get a copy of your birth certificate? Have you contacted your local social security office, and see what documents you will need to get a social security card? Have you contacted local DMV to see what you need to get a license?

    Anytime you mail something to the federal government, always send it certified mail. That way you will have proof someone received your letter.

    Your living situation. Do you think you and your friend could sit down and maybe come up with some "ground rules" to put you more at ease. It seems like touch sensation has really hurt you , and so you don't like to be touched. Your friend loves to touch. Sounds like you need to find a way to convey your feelings without upsetting her. Just be honest with her about what has happened to you in the past, and that is why you feel this way. It is not because of her or anything she has done. Hopefully , you two can come to some sort of an agreement. The rest of the stuff in that house is just out of your control.

    Does your school offer a counselor? I have a feeling you could really benefit from some counseling. I have the sad impression you have been through a lot, of bad stuff.

    Feel free to PM/IM me anytime.

    Take Care
  7. sahel

    sahel SF Supporter

    Another option is writing to your local MP, I had to handle an issue with my work permit by writing/emailing him, because that was the only option that was left for me.