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Another newbie rolling on in.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Ben121, Apr 30, 2009.

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  1. Ben121

    Ben121 Active Member

    Hi all,

    I hate introductions so I well try and keep it short has I can.

    I have been suicidal be for but never really tried to take my own life.

    Am unhappy with my life but can not seem to do much about it.

    Everything logically tells me that I should end it has nothing is ever going to change.

    A little about my self. I am 34 all though I look only 24, some may say younger. I am not a big guy. So maybe that makes me look younger has well. Also am from the UK in case anyone wonders.

    I have not had a GF since I was 18 :( I did used to enjoy all that any normal guy would do with there GF all though I am also attracted to guys has well. Mostly I fantasize about other guys. Not that anyone who knows me would know that. That's probably one reason am still alone has girls that I know just are not doing it for me. They used to when I was younger. I don't work so don't meet many ppl or girls so maybe its just that I have not meat the right one. All this confusers me has I have been attracted to girls in my younger days. Any way I live alone and have done since I was 20 years old.

    I have thought be for of ending it and have got very down in myself cos of that. Am not feeling that depressed right now, maybe just looking for some answers I think.
  2. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Welcome to Sf! Hope you find the support you are seeking here!
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome to SF!!
  5. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF Ben! :)
    Don't end it, hang in there and talk to us, I'm sure you'll find the support you need here. :hug:
    You can PM me anytime.
  6. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Hey and welcome to SF Ben121!

    We're happy you visit us for support.
    We will do our very best to support you in any way possible.

    If you want to talk to someone please send me or someone else a message and we'll do our best to help you.
    My message box is open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. :)
    Also be sure to join the SF chat for support or if you just want to chat.

    Take care,
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf :hug:
  8. yesterday

    yesterday Member

  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Ben!!
  10. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF Ben.

    :hug: xx
  11. Ben121

    Ben121 Active Member

    Thanks for the welcomes guys.

    Am not about to try anything silly yet though.

    The closest I got to that was a few years ago when I got drunk in the hope I would find the strength to end it. Lucky for me (or unlucky for me what ever way you would look at) I can not take my drink and passed out be for I got around to doing anything.

    The thing is am steuben and that's probably why am still here. That and am to chicken to actually do anything. Maybe Ive not felt the pain needed to make it worth doing something like that.

    I do have friends. some friends anyway. Not that I have anything in common with any of them. I know I get lonely. Sure friends are OK but a guy needs moor then that. I need to feel loved on a deeper level then just a few paints down the pub wid me mates.

    The thing I keep asking my self is if nothing is ever going to change and I end up spending the rest of my life living alone like I already have done for the past 14 years why bother carrying on. I don't ever see anything changing has I can not change my poor health so well not be able to ever work. If Ive not meat anyone in the past 16 years then what are the chances of meeting anyone in the next 16 years. 16 years since I had a GF and 14 years living alone.

    Don't get me wrong I have some things to be thankful for. I have a nice place to live in and a mum and dad that love me dearly all though I would never tell them a lot of things like I sometimes wish I could be honest about the way I feel about some guys I have known. But with that one I just think what is the point of coming out about that when I don't have a BF ether. I deal with that if it ever happens.

    Anyway I could go on and on about different expects that bother me in my life and what makes it so frustrating but for now I think Ive put enough. I hate to read long posts so all end this one just here :smile:
  12. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. :shake:
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