Hi all. First off, I dunno how long I'll be able to 'attend' this site. I don't have internet access at home, so I can only be on here at work (which is realllllly not a good idea); or from the library (which means I'll have to find some energy to get there). But, I'm here today, so I guess that's something. I'm not really sure why I'm here. I have an elderly dog that lives for me; and I for her. I'm hanging on until she's gone; then I plan on going sometime after her. So...I guess I'm here to help me hang on until then. I've suffered from depression almost my entire life, and this year has been the WORST. I plan on talking to my doc about it next month and seeing if she has any shred of hope for me to continue hanging onto; but until then, I don't have any of my own. In the past week, I've had several people reach out to me. They're all worried. They love me and care about me. But you know what I realized? All their love can't save me. Only mine can. And I don't have any of that, either. I'm just soooo freaking tired of fighting this. I'm tired, and I'm ready to go. Anyway, I'm usually more "Up", even when I'm depressed. But I've read a couple different threads, and it seems safe to be ME here. Doesn't seem like I have to put on my mask and pretend to be somebody I'm not. So...there you have it. My depressing ol' self. Yippee. Ok...so...ummm....wth is up with this ?------> :Jehuty: It's cute...just kinda'....odd. (no offense) BTW...I have a wicked sense of humor that comes out at the oddest times. So...fair warning.