another newbie

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by weordmyndum, Jun 22, 2010.

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  1. weordmyndum

    weordmyndum Member

    Hi, I'm Sara. I'm 24, and I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 5 and in and out of hospitals since I was 16. I thought nothing could help.

    But I've spent the last 2 years in long term residential treatment for people with treatment-resistant mental illness. Things were finally changing. I was finally feeling ready to move toward living on my own. I was applying to colleges and trying for financial aid.

    And then I found out my family is pulling the plug on my treatment. Despite evidence and arguments to the contrary, they insist I'm not making progress. They want to send me to some other residential treatment facility, which really is not what I need. I asked if they would at least let me stay in the area and work with my therapist outpatient, but they won't. If I don't agree to let them warehouse me in yet another hospital, they're going to cut off all financial support, and I'm not at a point where I can survive entirely on my own, especially without therapy.

    More and more, it seems like suicide is the only option that makes any sense. I don't want to be warehoused in hospitals the rest of my life, and I don't want to survive if there's no hope of getting better. I have until July 31 to figure out how to survive...but I honestly can't see that happening.
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    :hiya: Hello Sara, I understand how suicide can seem the only option, I hope you can find some other way to work things out. I think as a whole what you are going through can be incredibly overwhelming, you should be able to find some good advice and support here. Hopefully that can help you think things through, in a more coherent way.

    I think a good start, and this is how I try and work things out. Is to take it one problem at a time, seek out what advice and options you have (google is a powerful tool here). For a start take the financial implications of having to go to this place, is there somewhere locally like a charity were you could seek independent advice to what you are entitled too? At the same time you could ask them about your rights as a patient.

    Hope this all makes sense, Take Care

  3. weordmyndum

    weordmyndum Member

    There really isn't anything I'm entitled to. My family has money, so I can't get any kind of help. It's not a patients' rights issue; it's a "my family hates me" issue.

    I'm pretty sure everyone in my life would be better off with me dead. All I do is hurt people and disappoint people. I'm never good enough, and I ask for too much.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Sarah and welcome to SF. I'm pretty sure that your family would really miss you if you were gone. Even though it seems like your family doesn't like taking care of you, if you committed suicide, they would be heartbroken. That I'm sure of. I have an idea. What if you tell your parents that you're seriously considering suicide, as an option if they take you out of the treatment facility. At least then they would understand the consequence of their action. I know that it seems pretty bleak, but don't give up hope for a happy and productive future. :hug:
  5. weordmyndum

    weordmyndum Member

    Oh, I tried that. I was accused of being manipulative. Nothing I do is right, and they don't believe I'm actually in pain. According to them, I'm just lazy and manipulative.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    At 24 you are also an adult so your family should not have as much say unless they have declared you incompetent. Is there a way to prove that you are improving at this facility? Would the medical staff go to bat for you? I hate to see the rug pulled out from under you when you are finally starting to make the progress necessary to eventually be successful on the outside. Sometimes courts can intervene. i don't know with your individual case though.
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF, Sarah. I hope you find help here.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the Forums Sarah.. I can imagine how you feel being pulled out of an environment that you are familiar go to a new place where you don't know anyone.. That happened to me.. I was use to the hospital I was in and then my insurance kicked in andthey moved me to the main hospital..I didn't come out of my room for two days except to eat..I didn't like it there but I went with the program so I could get out of there..You need to have some one on one time with the therapist to help you sort things out..I wish you all the best and Stay Safe!!
  9. weordmyndum

    weordmyndum Member

    The staff has tried to help...but there's not much they can do. It's a private hospital, and I don't have insurance. If my family won't pay the bills, I can't stay there, end of story.
  10. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hey there.. welcome to SF :hug:
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