Another night of this shit

[LetItGo]

Its 4.36 am again, Ive tried to get a couple hours or so of unbroken sleep to no avail...Its so much worse than people realise, my shirt is literally wet through around the collar and half way down my back for battling this shit the entire night. I literally cant sleep atm without fearing paralysis and fucking nightmares that seem to come from nowhere.

Happening all the time. Tonight i started having this dream about walking on this beach where it was actually snowing...bizarre right? ya even worse when my mother comes out from nowhere and tries to strangle me with fishing line. Stupid fucked up shit like that constantly...Im constantly struggling to breathe, to fight the trap of being paralysed, and these little nightmares which have me sweating like mad...which I dont normally do. To top it off the cat wakes me up 5 times a night.

Its all really starting to scare me now..im actually scared of going to sleep now, for fear I wont wake up, or ill subconsiously hurt myself while trying to battle this shit.

:cry:

 

[blub]

OMG matt :ohmy:
you really need to see someone with this
:hug:

 

[Terry]

Matt, go to the bloody docs, there are meds for this shit. Don't sit there suffering in silence please.

 

[blub]

Jupjup, listen to your 2 mothers :nono:

 

[kath]

Yeah i never tell people what to do but go to the docs!!!!No seriously though do consider it - they may be able to help.And secondly i hope you feel better and get some rest soon.i know how enduring bad nights can be.i have them constantly at times but for me it seems to be one of those things i cant get used to having to deal with..........it really does mess you up doesnt it??!!

Take care
kath

 

[LetItGo]

Last night was interesting. Started pretty bad as usual. Had a really vivid dream about starting a massive explosion at a gas plant. Basically i was employed there to make sure all the various valves were set at the appropriate pressure...well guess what? I fucked up, and like 200 people died, bodies everywhere, but I lived...because I knew it was coming and ran out first. 3 of my friends in the dream, died, including my old best mate that I havent seen for years because I distanced myself from him. It wasnt until the very end that I could actually bail out of this fucking nightmare...damage done, pulse racing, sweat pouring off me...

After that i had a couple of other smaller ones..cant remember them, and I actually managed to get some sleep for some reason...Didnt wake up till 9am this morning.

lol Every night is differant...you just never know what your going to get.

 

[LetItGo]

and again FUCK. Just had 4 like little mini scenarious in a row...the last was my mother stand out the front of her bedroom door...saying is anybody there, and there was this girl standing in the door to the spare room. I physically said "oh my god" and kicked up in the air....as sif to physically kick her...wtf is going on with me...this is happening far too often..I gotta see somone...do some sleep therapy or something..One of these mini scenarious involved somebody from this site :cry:

 

[TLA]

Not sure wtf is happening, but when you are not regular on your :sleep: sleep your body and mind will react in strange ways. Call a hotline and see what resources they can suggest in your area. I am sorry you have this active "night" life. I know you hate it. I am trying to tell myself this year "I know this sucks, but it could be worse!"
Please call :phone: psychologist or anyone on advice.

 

[LetItGo]

Another round tonight, im not even gonna bother trying to sleep. Visions of some whacked out wino chasing me down deserted streets and alleyways, visions of young girls saying there gonna throw themselves of the top of a school building if they dont find the person there looking for...i.e Me...fortunately i showed up in time for that one. Visions of an old store manager i use to work under chucking an absolute wobbbly, I mean seriously going beserk, pyschotic even, and im looking for a way out.

These visions either all involve me trying to get away, or involve me trying to find someone...I guess that tells me something, but why are they filled with so much dread...theres very few blue skies or romance involved..

I think im better of sleeping during the day now. Either that, or knocking myself out constantly.

 

[TLA]

I feel helpless to say anything to assist you, and do feel terrible that you have the images haunting your rest. Maybe your mind is racing cuz it is not relaxed or clear. I am not experienced with this, but I feel your pain. I take a sleeping aid for my mood swings that knocks me out for the night. :sleep: Sounds like you need a little man to hit you on the head with a hammer at nightime. It is good that you can share what is going on with yourself.

 

[blub]

Mattie :dry: when will those appointments start with your psy again? You really need some fuckinh help with this and the best would be asap. You know you can always talk to me. I miss our conversations :sad:
:hug: :cheekkiss