another night passes

[aviewfromchaos]

so i havent been on here in a very long time. another night has gone by with myself and my fiance fighting about nothing. it might seem like a routine but its driving me insane. every single day i think about just taking that final step. my addictions have grown in the past year. i stopped just smoking *herbs* and moved on to much harder drugs. i feel like those little white lines are the only thing keeping my head on my shoulders.

 

[Moat]

I do not know the reason you started on the drugs but have you stopped to think that those little white lines could be what is causing much of your current problems in your relationship?
Addictions are not fun and while they could feel great for a time while you under the influence, in the eyes of those around the user, they do nothing but tear friendships and relationships apart because your mind is solely fixed on getting that next high and so warped by the drugs that you do not see of yourself or your actions what you are really doing.
If you want things to improve in your life, I'd strongly suggest getting into a rehab program or else the next little white line you take could well be your last, intentionally or not.

I know from personal experience what the harder drugs like heroine, ice etc can do to relationships and it is not fun to witness someone you care about going down that road. It hurt me a lot more than it did my best friend taking the taking the drugs, in comhination of chasing a bottle of vodka a day that by the end, I cut her loose to her own devices when she refused to listen to my concerns for her welfare.

 

[aviewfromchaos]

ive been doing drugs for a very long time. i relapse when im under extreme stress/depression, ect. i haven't been like this in a very long time. SF was the only place that helped last time so i thought id come back.

 

[aviewfromchaos]

ive considered rehab for a while. i just dont know how id break it to family.