another person

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by XAmountOfWords, Feb 9, 2008.

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  1. what do you tell some one who wants to kill himself but drink instead to make him stop drinking but still not kill himself?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2008
  2. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Hey, Words! Welcome.

    You can't really [i[talk[/i] to people like that. What can you do though is show them way a to professional help.
  3. it's just hopeless, like everything else.... i shouldn't care.
  4. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I think that’s a little negative … I disagree, there is always hope and when there’s a will there’s a way. First off, I’ve been in virtually the same situation as your friend, and I’m going to say one baby step at a time. First, make sure he doesn’t start doing other drugs frequently that is possibly one of the worst things that can happen. Second, you’re going to have to take things slowly. Your friend is not going to just stop drinking. See if you can get him to slow down a little bit first, and go from there. Once you get an inch you can spread it for a mile.
    And/or, try and find someone they like, and try to get them to take it up. Like a sport or something. Finding a new hobby other than drinking helps a lot . . .
    I know it’s pretty basic and you probably could have come up with that yourself, but that’s all I can think of.
    Don’t give up on them though, if they’re depressed, they need people who care like you.
  5. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Desire, I don't know if you were actually addressing me, but the point is.... Well let's go back to the OP:

    "what do you tell some one who wants to kill himself but drink instead to make him stop drinking but still not kill himself?"

    You cannot make another person do, start, or want anything--and that's what I was saying. Better to point him in a direction to get help.

    And I am very well qualified on this. I drank alcoholically for about eight years. You're not going to get very far with a drunk, even in sober moments, if he's not commited to recovery.

    I'm also reciting a basic tenet in behavioral psychology: You cannot "change" others.

  6. well, he only gets pissed off. he has no interest in being sober at all.......
  7. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    i really dont think there is anything you could say to make him stop drinking. I think the only thing you can do is try to make him not drink excessively (this may be difficult i know) and make sure you are there to support him if he does feel suicidal.

    Ive been drinking to try and take away the suicidal thoughts (it doesnt work btw) and i dont think i would take very kindly to people trying to make me stop (i would see it as them forcing me into it even though they would only be trying to help).
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2008
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