Another poem

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Tobes, Nov 18, 2009.

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  1. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    This is my latest poem, I can't think of a title.

    The days are getting longer
    Time slows to a crawl
    I want hope for the future
    I have no hope at all

    The smiling faces taunt me
    They just make me feel worse
    There's a problem hanging over me
    Like some kind of voodoo curse

    Death won't help my problem
    Death won't ease my pain
    Death will hurt the ones I love
    If I take my life in vain

    I wish the thoughts would leave me
    So I could live in peace
    But the thoughts, they are relentless
    The thoughts will never cease

    I'm making mistakes daily
    Saying things I regret
    Assuming things of people
    People I've never met

    You'd think I'd learn my lesson
    And think before I speak
    This flaw will be my downfall
    A change is what I seek

    This poem's near it's ending
    I should finish it I think
    It's time to have some dinner
    And maybe a stiff drink
  2. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member


    Really nice rhyming and rhythm, it showed self-doubt and humility and virtue.

    How 'bout 'The days, they crawl' as a title.

    A poem to be proud of Toby.
  3. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Really nice use of language/nice wording.
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