My life ... what a mess. I am happy that I did have good times, and have photos to prove it. But that was when I was just a boy. Now I am a man, a failure at that and there is no going back. I am suicidal, and it is all from shame. When I was young, I was in an accident that damaged my penis. I didn't get erections during the night, had trouble masturbating and there was no way I could have sex. This happened at about 13. As you can imagine it doesn't matter at that age, but as me and my friends grew older I was slowly left behind. I was too ashamed and humiliated to tell anyone, so I withdrew. Even with all this shit happening, I managed to get good enogh grades to make it to university. But at 19 I couldn't handle the social side of things anymore, the continual talk about sex, picking up girls etc when I knew I had never done it, and could never do it. So I gave up my place. Things then got worse. I didn't feel like a man. I never had done. So, I STUPIDLY had some plastic surgery done to make myself look more 'masculine'. Hey, if I couldn't be a man I wanted to atleast LOOK like I was one. Now all I have is a crooked chin that looks ridiculous, and thousands of dollars down the drain, no friends and no prospects for the future. Yep, I wanna die.