Another Record Low

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by NIN, Sep 20, 2009.

  1. NIN

    NIN Member

    I actually was reminded of this forum yesterday. I got an email wishing me happy birthday and remembered I came on these forums a few months ago.

    I'm currently a junior in college. At a glance you would think I was a likable successful guy. I used to be somewhat of a hermit in high school but I've really learned to be social, outgoing, and funny in the last year or two. This is me:

    I'm on my university's rowing team, I'm part of an acting group in school, I get high grades and am very involved with my classes and major, and I am passionate about music and am always trying to learn and write new stuff on guitar. Deep down though I'm suffering. I'm so disconnected from people. I feel invisible.

    I had practice for crew this morning so I couldn't go out for my birthday last night, so I wanted to do something tonight. I got some drinks and invited people over, but no one wanted to come all the way to where I live. I tried to do something on the main campus but no one responded to my texts or calls. Two of my house mates are out with their girlfriends and the other is just lazy and only wants to watch movies. I tried to talk to my neighbors and join them but they're unfriendly to me. Everyone is unfriendly. Everyone has their own clique of friends and doesn't let guys like me in.

    I feel like what I want the most is a girl to connect to. I feel like I could have no friends or only one or two but have a girlfriend who liked me and connected with me and I would be ok. Just one girl who I feel for and feels for me. A girl who I could share some intimacy with. I've never had that though. I'm invisible to girls.

    I really feel like there's this raincloud always hanging over me or some kind of curse. I've made it so far and I've accomplished so much. I'm busy with a variety of activities every day, and I excel in all of them, but that hasn't helped my situation with people one bit.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey i am glad you are able to be more social. Are you getting therapy of any kind to help you with your depression or hidden feelings Sometime councillor can help as well get you to open up abit more. Just keep up what your doing getting involved in all kinds of activites you will meet someone wtih your same interest. Keep coming here okay just to vent even but try to talk with someone at your school a councillor take care