Another thread about mothers

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by stuckinchicago6, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    My mom is an extremely tough, insensitive woman. She never cries except for when she watches a stupid reality show. She shows more compassion for dogs and people on reality tv than she does for her own daughter. She is an extreme bitch. Whenever I need her emotionally, she screams and pretty much tells me to stop being weak. When I say screaming, I mean she yells at the top of her lungs and tells me how much I have destroyed her life. She acts more like a drill sergeant father than she does a mother. Her work has made her a complete psycho as well. Long hours, being in an environment surrounded by men.

    According to her, I did everything wrong. I married the wrong man. He is just using me and this and that and I am a rebound for him. She can not deal with the fact that he is foreign, not Catholic, and not of my ethnic background. She tricked me into coming back home. I was with my husband on the other side of the world and happy. Listening to her cry and beg and plead everyday made me feel really bad and then I started to think that maybe it was better for me to go home and prepare for my husband to come here. Big mistake! The minute I stepped off the plane, my mom was nagging again. I left without even telling her when I went abroad because she deserved it. Of course, I called her as soon as I got to the airport. While I was away with my husband, she called me a million times a day and sent me a million emails. All she knows how to do is bring down my self-esteem since I was a little girl. Until like 3 years ago, I didn't realize how much she has ruined my self-esteem and turned me into the insecure, overly sensitive person that I am today. Mom does not understand why I suffer from the extreme depression I suffer from today. She had a happy childhood with brothers and sisters. She didn't deal with the issues I dealt with. She is very small-minded. Almost like Archie Bunker sometimes.

    QUESTION: Why do people like her who are sooooo incredibly cold, shallow, and sometimes dumb always call intelligent people crazy???

    One more thing, I love my husband. However, it is dangerous because he is the only thing that makes me happy at the moment. I know he feels overwhelmed. When we argue, he doesn't understand my extreme sensitivity all the time. He tries really hard, but he can't possibly handle everything. Yesterday, I went psycho and I was really embarrassed afterwards. It was over petty things. Him not sending money right away because he had to wait an extra day to get the rest of the money and me finding that he still had his ex's mother's number in his contacts.

    How do I deal with this situation and my mom and having to live with her again, feeling like an elementary school girl again?
  2. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    BTW, I know this is totally weird to ask, but it wouldn't hurt to have some friends. Anybody on here in Chicago? Maybe cafe, lunch, just to have somebody else to talk to that is going through hard times as well. Or does anybody know of a good place online just to meet friends also suffering from depression/and/or some sort of mental disorder.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    "QUESTION: Why do people like her who are sooooo incredibly cold, shallow, and sometimes dumb always call intelligent people crazy???"

    Because deep down they feel inferior so come out to speak!
    Always easier to denegrate rather than feel inferior.

    As to the rest of it, maybe right off base but it sounds like she needs you desperately and that somehow makes her savage with you.
    Try to get a life that is outside her control.
    Friends, a job, whatever; just something that is yours and yours alone.

    When she starts putting you down...walk away ...this more about her insecurities than anything u are doing.
  4. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply. You are 100 percent right. If she was secure, she wouldn't constantly feel the need to put me down. Also, she hates the fact that I have found somebody and the other day she was saying how she needs to find a man. LOL. Her problem is that she has ridiculously high standards. She thinks everybody is ugly. This is why she is alone. My father is a terrible man and I can never come up with excuses for his behavior and what he did to me. However, I can totally understand why he went running and had an affair. He also suffers from depression and panic disorder and living with somebody like her who is not supportive at all, amplifies the situation.
  5. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm not in Chicago, but I would be your friend.

    From what I remember from your previous posts, your mother sounds like she's turned into more of a bitch, not less.
  6. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Adam, you are 100 percent right! Every year, it gets worse. I wish she would move on with her life and do something for herself. We are supposed to love our parents and respect them, but that can only go so far when we constantly have to tolerate mental and in some cases physical abuse. I am an only child and I have to be responsible for every expectation that was not met and every broken dream.
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    OMG how much can I relate to that.
    Am also an only child and since the death of my father in October, she has decided that I must take over where he left off in caring for her :dry:
    The overwhelming responsibility to satisfy all the wishes and dreams of a parent is just wearing!
  8. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    big hugs :hugtackles: