Another way to hurt myself!

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by girl_28, Sep 26, 2006.

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  1. girl_28

    girl_28 Member

    Whenever i get very depressed and feel like dying what i usually do is punish myself with no eating for many days because one of my problems is that im very fat and repulsive to people, i never had any friends because no one wants to hang out with the fat girl, everyone thinks i look ugly and repulsive so when i feel desperate and in a crisis i dont eat and i feel very strong pains in my stomach and i feel a guilty pleassure in that, i like to lay down on my bed and feel every inch of the pain and then when my crisis is over i go and eat a lot all of junk food and bad food and after that i feel like throwing it up and i feel sick but i cant help to love the way i feel while no eating and the hurt in my stomach i cant help doing it.
     
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    You know, I do this too and I've actually just gotten off the phone from my boyfriend and he gave me a lecture about how he doesn't want an anorexic girlfriend. I'm going to be a hypercrite and say you should eat, not eating is unhealthy and there's less harmless and less dangerous ways to punish yourself (althoug I'm sure you don't need to punish yourself anyway). Man, if only we sometimes followed our own advice. Have you spoken to anyone about this?
     
  3. girl_28

    girl_28 Member

    no never, i feel ashamed to speak to someone about it
     
  4. WeepingWillow

    WeepingWillow Well-Known Member

    this may sound silly but its true
    you want tp punish yourself and hurt at the same time? exercise like crazy. until your legs and arms feel like jello. rest and then try to do something and ur muscles will hurt. there is pain in that. its sort of a feel good kind of pain. i have exercised a lot more lately to avoid cutting myself and its gets out all this physical pent up energy i need to get out. i do hurt since Im not used to it. whether you're overweight or not, people will find a reason not to be friends with you. screw 'em
    i would be friends with you and i dont even know you, let alone what u look like. i dont care who is twiggy or overweight, its a shell. eventually you will become sick and less functional and that is no fun, can lead to more depression. there is no need to punish yourself for anything but there are obviously reasons you need to talk. and there are lots here, including me, willing to listen and voice opinions if needed.
     
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    girl-28,
    i used to do this aswell.
    hope your feeling a little better
    :hug:
     
  6. girl_28

    girl_28 Member

    i am becoming more and more strong with this starving myself to death thing is better because my parents will never realize if i eat or not and i have no marks or no signs that i hurted myself. i have real panic to blook and to needles or anything that can cut you, i can faint in a blood test or even in a sugar control test... i know i´m a big mess so cutting myself won´t do it for me. i discovered that i also can have a very severe backpain i was in bed for 2 days without moving and just letting the day go by, i will eventually log on the internet but the rest of the day just in bed crying and feeling my stomach in so much pain and today in the morning when i woke up i couldn´t my back was hurting so bad and until now it still hurts... anyone else experienced that too? and also is it normal to have a bloated stomach now? mine is really big and i went to weigh myself and i gained 2 lb. is it normal?
     
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