Hey guys.. My name is Alex, 17 going on 18, and honestly, my life is actually pretty good. The problem is me and i know that, but i don't know what i could possibly do. I have been suicidal for just over a year now, although nobody even knows, as this is my first attempt at actually trying to talk it out with anybody. I have had 2 failed suicide attempts now, and i am on the verge of trying again. I don't feel joy in anything i do and i know for a fact my parents hate me for that. I can't remember the last time i was truly happy and laughing. Honestly, i feel like Dexter off the TV show, i feel nothing aside from anger. From reading other posts i see most advice comes down to talking with family or friends, but i have some problems with that. I literally do not have any friends at all, and i am a extremely shy person, i struggle to even ask my parents questions as i am scared to speak up, so that rules out talking to my parents. I have a huge addiction to gaming, which is my biggest problem. If i just spent over 1 hour a day off my computer, i start shaking with frustration and anger. Which made doing my current IT course incredibly hard. The only thing that has kept me from trying again is the pain i know it will cause my mother and brother. Anyway as i said, this is my first time reaching out so i'm not sure what to say.. but any advice would be appreciated, as i don't want to hurt my family, but i really don't want to continue living. (Even if it's <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>, but it didn't work aside from a bad headache and coughing fits for the next 2weeks) forgot to mention, at the moment i have a really huge project and external exams to finish my course (all done at home really) and well, i planed to be dead by now and its all catching up on me, and i can't finish it, due to my addiction and I've left it to late. But my Parents think i am nearly done and i know i won't be able to do it in time and ill be lucky if my dad doesn't throw me on the street, but i am sure he will as the course cost a lot of money.. Anyway, i know this doesn't seem bad and i know it isn't, but i just can't stand it, its not a life i can live, expecially with a never ending emptiness feeling inside me, which is just filled with anger and hate. Thanks.. Alex.