Hi I'm a 21 year old from a little town in wales. I have been suffering with suicidal thoughts since I was 17. I have never been sure what has triggered it but ever since my life has been one big lie. I lie to my family and friends everyday. I recently lost the most special person in my life. I could tell her any thing and she never judged me or called me stupid. I have so much love for her and she told me she felt the same and then left me just like most people that come into my life. I have every job and most of my friends from having these thoughts. I wouldn't say i have had a bad life. I know im only young and people tell me all the time to think about how everyone else would feel if i was gone. But what about the way i feel? why should i continue this lie? I have never asked for answers because I know i will never get them. There is no right or wrong answer to the way someone feels. I just felt like i had to get this out.