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Anxiety...anxiety...anxiety, help?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Petal, Sep 17, 2014.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi, I'm even anxious writing this now which is why I'm forcing myself to write this. 90% of the time my anxiety is controlled with the use of medication & therapy. My medication is wearing off for today and for the last few days/maybe weeks when it's wearing off I feel SO anxious. For the anxiety I am taking 30mg of valium a day, 150mg phenergan, 200mg setraline, 600mg lyrica 20mg stilnoct(ambien) for sleep. They are all at maximum dose but what I am finding is break through anxiety is what I believe it is. When I feel this way I feel very uncomfortable, insecure and I suppose I would say a bit paranoid. I'm going to list some things..

    1. I feel a nuisance for talking to people about anything, whether it's an issue of mine or theirs.

    2. I feel people are only talking to me to be nice.

    3. I feel people are talking behind my back.

    4. My heart rate is up, arms are a small bit shaky, legs a bit shaky and just very uncomfortable in general.

    5. This is going to sound weird but when I am in between being awake and as I am falling asleep I stop breathing and wake up gasping for air. Last week it was so bad I started screaming after the ''event'' that I woke most of the house up. I was so scared and refused to try and sleep again, it was terrifying, I didn't know if I was going to be able to breathe again ( I have no idea if this was a panic attack or something else) but fucking hell it scared the life out of me. It has happened about 10 nights in total in the last month. Scared the hell out of me, I can't even describe how much it scared me. I have mentioned it to the doctor twice, she did not have any answers, I've looked it up on the net and have seen that very few people have had it happen to them - but no answers either. I feel so damn stupid writing this and I will wake in the morning not wanting to sign in here 'til I have the valium taken, 'cos it just sounds crazy, I literally stop breathing several times and have to get my older sister is sit beside me until I fall asleep properly. I told myself I would not mention it here, although I did in chat one night when I was very scared. But feel it might help now to talk about it.

    Like I said though, my anxiety is MOSTLY under control. I am just having breakthrough anxiety.

    Another thing....I try to be so nice to people, overly nice because I want to feel accepted and really do want to help but feel that they may feel its fake-its not, I know how it feels to be that low, that bad, that depressed, that anxious, suicide etc.... I want to help people as much as I can as I am no longer suicidal or depressed.

    Not aimed at anyone at all!!!! Just anxiety playing on my mind way too much. I see the therapist in the morning and psych too, I'm going to bring up these things and see if they can offer any help or solutions.

    I am sorry *hides under a rock* *and never comes out* lol
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hello, petal.

    maybe do some breathing exercises and have a herbal tea and try and clear your mind. sing along to a calming song, dance around the room to try and distract from it. random suggestions.

    i do relate it's crippling when an attack comes and i know you struggle a lot, you are definitely appreciated and not a nuisance.

    also, have they looked into conditions you might have to do with heart/lungs/breathing?
  3. Yoko

    Yoko Seeker of Darkness

    Ah, anxiety is such a fickle thing. I've had problems with it myself. In college, etc. You just need to relax. Slow your breathing. Put on something relaxing (lately meditation recordings or soft music has been helping). Whatever helps you. Experimenting with things like that can be fun.

    When you stop breathing, are you awake or asleep? Once you even start to focus or mention breathing, you notice you have to do it manually for a little while. At least until you forget and your brain does it subconsciously for you. If you're sleeping, it may be caused by sleep apnea. Just remind yourself to relax. Deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. Create a type of circular breathing, and every time you breath out through your mouth, whisper or mouth the word relax. It works!

    The med mixture might be a bit of a factor. I tend to look up each med I'm given to see what each interacts with. You might want to do the same. Your doctor or pharmacist should know, but I like to check for myself as well. Just to ease my own anxiety. The shakiness and feeling uncomfortable could be med related as well, and your anxiety is making you think it's something more. Relaxation and trying not to overthink every thing that's happening tends to help.

    Trust me, you're not a nuisance. You're a nice lady :). Those thoughts are just caused by your anxiety. You have to trick it and remind yourself of the positives. 2 and 3 also fall into that as well. Nice people will be nice to nice people. ^_^
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you both so much for the replies. I am actually not anxious now at all! See...it just comes when it wants lol! But yes I do concentrate on my breathing especially at night time. I have suffered cardiac arrest and was very lucky. God, I hate to write these things but I have been in a coma(2011), I have taken (method) so god knows what has been done to my body. I am currently waiting a CT scan result which is due back on the 30th of September, no idea why it's taking so long. I also suffer from low cortisol (stress hormone is cortisol). Chronic pain in abdomen which is why I've had CT scan. Chronic asthma since a child (but I very stupidly smoke a lot-it calms me).

    I spoke to the crisis nurse about 30 mins ago, in his opinion the breathing thing at night btw which is when I am just asleep, he says is most likely panic attacks. He said given my history with anxiety that it is probably panic attacks-told me to go to sleep and not to worry. I told him I see psych tomorrow, he said make sure you tell them everything otherwise there's no point in seeing them. I am always honest with the psych so that will be no problem.

    Oh and yeah I was thinking sleep apnea, I'm just unsure, I really am going to have to push it with the doctors to give me an answer or even possibility so that it can be cured.

    Anxiety is so strange, it can come on it 2 seconds and go in 2 seconds, I feel relaxed now but maybe that is because I spoke to the crisis nurse I am not sure!
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 17, 2014
  5. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    it's a bit of both isn't it, mental and physical...?
    can i ask a random question, i mean: what are your spiritual beliefs?
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It could very well be a mixture of both,yes. For my sake I actually hope it is panic attacks and not a serious physical issue.
    Hmm....my spiritual beliefs, I believe in God but I didn't always, circumstances have given me belief. There was a particular OD where the professor said I should not have survived medically, at the same time he was an asshole-he said I was looking for attention *rolls eyes* Yes I do believe there is God and a heaven, I'm not VERY into the religious thing but I believe. I'm thinking but that's all I can say. I have visited the graves of people who were very close to me, cried and prayed! xxxxxx
  7. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Hi Petal, I hope you feel better. Sorry I was away. Yes never give up on prayer.

    Best Wishes to you, and I hope it was/is just a panic attack.
  8. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    Hi petal! I hope your feeling better now, I was thinking sleep apnea when I was reading about your sleep issue. My dad has that and I think I have it too, sleeping on my side seems to help a little bit more than if I were on my back. If it's panic attacks I hope you can find a way around it.

    By the way you are super nice and you deserve the best! You're not a nuisance
  9. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    I'm not really sure how to help but have you tried things like breathing excersizes, meditation….yoga? Sometimes bringing yourself to a relaxing state can curb that breakthrough anxiety.
  10. Invisible Child

    Invisible Child Antiquities Friend

    No need to hide hun. I am sorry that you are feeling this way and I wish I had magic words or a magic wand to make it all go away. Know that I am here if you ever need an ear or a shoulder to lean on.

  11. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Well, I think you're exceptional in the kick-ass dept.!;) ..& so I sure do hope you never ever feel the need to censor or oppress yourself - not only because I don't feel it's warranted or necessary; but selfishly, I thoroughly enjoy your company. Good Night! :D ps) I'm falling asleep to CHEATERS (a tv show)
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you everyone, very kind words and advice you all have given me. I appreciate it a lot...will discuss with the psychiatrist tomorrow-see what they suggest. I'm sure this will pass, as I usually do get through it and things like this, just wanted to let it alllll out! =) Thank you again :)

    And OMG Misterbgone! I watch that show at 11pm every night on CBS reality, it's sad but hilarious at the same time. The show messed up the other night as one of the cheaters got arrested for assault!!! T'was bound to happen, they kill each other lol! I wonder do they only actually show the ''cheating'' ones as everyone that wants to be on the show can't be a victim of cheating....surely.