I can't believe it. It's a night of no one listening. I just got off the phone with the crisis line who spent about ten minutes asking me questions and telling me what I should do. She wasn't giving me the chance to explain the situation though. Just like the same issue at work. I had an anxiety attack and had to leave the register. All three managers who were on shift came in the break room and asked me questions about what happened. I was still drying my eyes in front of them. I think in their wired way they were trying to be supportive, but do not have empathy for others. It was difficult for me moments after it happened to explain everything. They asked if it was management or customers and I said customers. Right then they started saying how I can't let customers get to me and they started bragging about all the things that have happened to them. I think maybe all three of them intimidated me, but even when it was just one, I told her it was an anxiety attack and she did that whole, "yeah I feel you. But you can't let a customer get to you." I thought calling the crisis line would help me to vent and then be done, but like I said above, all she did was ask me questions. I got as far to say that I had an anxiety attack at work, and right there she started to explain how I need to take care of myself and that I should be taking medication and should be seeing a therapist. She acted like this happens everyday, but no. There was a situaiton today that caused it. Apparently no one wants to hear it though. I ask myself if it's possible to feel okay tonight. Perhaps, but I don't know what that would be. I think ideally they would have given me five minutes or so to cool down and then talk later, because as we were talking right after it happened, I was still emotional and still suffering from the attack, so the questions and the lack of empathy made it worse. I think honestly if they did not do that than I would have been okay. So much went wrong that night. I've had other nights where things have gone wrong and I have felt similar to this, but I was able to hold back the tears. I hate also crying in front of my co-workers. I did in front of the lady who trained me, but she was supportive. She took me back into the manager room and explained what it was like for her when she first started and how I will get the hang of it. I guess that's what I needed today. I just feel like something is wrong and how will it ever be right again? The managers were pretty much telling me I have to lose the compassionate side of who I am. I don't want to though. I see them sometimes be rude to the customers and think nothing of it. I don't want to do that. I like these managers, but right now I feel my image with them is damaged. I can't answer myself, but when you see a new employee crying on the job, you probably think of them as weak. I personally would try to comfort them and let them vent, but I guess not many people do that. I just wish things had happened differently and that someone would have listened to me tonight. The crisis line I have called several times in the past and they have let me vent. Not today. Maybe it's me, but I've lost my voice. After everything, I don't know how to ask for something. I should have asked my managers for five minutes. I don't know if they would have respected that though, since I did tell them it's hard to explain. I wish instead of going to the break room I would have gone into the bathroom, but I guess you don't think about those things when you're having an anxiety attack, and there was no way for me to guess they would lack empathy. I'm praying that I wake up tomorrow in a better mood. My biggest fear is I will be remembered for this incident and they will talk to others about it. I do have a feeling gossip is a hot topic at work. I guess to look at the more positive side, they might be looking at me and think I can't do this job. I'm not cut out for it, but now I can prove them wrong. Problem there is I like these three managers. I was doing well to work up a good working relationship with them and I think just like that, it's gone. I'm the girl that is weak and cries.