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anxiety- housing.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by plates, May 26, 2009.

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  1. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    is anyone terrified of being homeless?

    i suppose i've gone through it before and now i have a home (first time i've felt this in my life) i'm scared of losing it again as it will be really difficult to get another place. i actually had a mild anxiety attack trying to fill out my housing register form (i've put it off for ages) as it bought back so many memories.

    i'm trying to keep in mind to take one day at a time. but i don't know.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 26, 2009
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I wish I had my own place. I am scared of losing my place now with my mom. I don't work or help pay rent. I am scared mostly of getting kicked out. One being the fact that I still use drugs occasionally. She only notices when I get sick but sometimes I do get sick from using too much. The other being that my depression makes everything more difficult. A very good chance I am starting school in the fall. I think I actually had a dream last night that I was failing. But it's going to take a lot of effort to keep up good grades and go to class and everything. If I fail out of school without a job and am doing drugs or whatever, I could definitely be homeless. And I don't have a lot of friends... probably would have to go to a shelter.

    I've spoken to people who've gone to shelters, and they said it is not that bad. It's not ideal, but I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world. Feeling suicidal, I can see how this could push someone right over the edge. If I were on the streets it'd be easier for me to die I think. But I don't want you to think of that as an option so I won't go on about me.

    I really hope things work out and you can keep your place, or that you have a place to go if you lose it! :hug:
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey guys.

    i think everyone has had this fear at some point in their lives.

    right now i am in transition . a new place of my own is close within reach - but i am worried about keeping it

    i think i will.

    i know i am smart enough, and i can do it.
    so can both of you !

    spencer. i dont think your mom will kick you out. keep doing the best you can hun, and eventually i think things will turn in your favor.

    regarding shelters. this is a passion of mine- i have done much volunteer work at shelters.
    they are not bad places to be. if you actually seek out a shelter and are willing to follow the rules, it can be a very stable place.

    the shelter i work with helps people find their own place. many of our clients Do have jobs!

    you won't ever be without resources . . . . . there is always a way out and a way up.

    just my two cents
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i've been without a stable home forever, since i was 15 and even before i was 15 my home was never a home because of what was going on here. i actually have spent years i think on public transport because i have been homeless, so i know exactly the terror of not having safety, and just basic things is. it's only the past 6 months i've actually stayed put because my MH has improved in some ways (i used to wander from one house to another), and made it a place to stay, so that's why i'm terrified of losing it. i realised if this does happen, i still have residential care to fall back on so i won't be left without anything. i'm fucking terrified because i broke up with my ex gf and she provided me with a roof when i needed to sleep on her floor as well as a practical anchor in some ways for the future.

    spencer that sounds tough. :hug: can you get benefits because of your mental health where you are?
  5. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I left home when I was 13 and grew up on the streets from there. That helped add to the PTSD sx. I have a horrible fear of homelessness now, on the one hand, and on the other hand, due to our gov't and economy, I don't trust having a home. I sure don't trust sharing any place with anyone either. Right now I have a trailer, but I can't "take it with me" because I don't have a truck. I'm contemplating selling it to buy a motor home or camper van. Maybe its because I grew up on the street that I can't live in one place long? Or maybe it's just because I've always "ran". Running to? Running from? Both? Searching? At any rate, the concept of homelessness and being on the street again, or having to deal with shelters or anything like that, sends me into sheer terror and sets off all my PTSD bells and whistles. I'd think for anyone it would. Nothing feels safe to me. Nothing.
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i relate to your post so much. i'm so much like you- i couldn't stay in one place for long and would be running constantly. but i had to go back home in the night because staying on the street in the night would be scary. then i'd run out again.

    it's terrifying, once you have something stable, the terror of losing it again.

    i told my therapist "i know what it's like to stay inside a flat. how have i lived all my life?!" i didn't realise how i've lived all my life until i anchored myself to somewhere and tried to keep my meals going and create a solid base for myself. i've made my flat a non-poisonous place in the last 6 months and it's safe. i really savour everything i have there.

    your idea of a motor or camper van sounds great. i like to move around too a lot. i spend a lot of time outdoors. being inside my flat or any closed space for too long gets me scared.

    it's good to hear from someone who knows what it's like. i do hope you won't find yourself on the streets again.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2009
  7. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sometimes, recently, I wonder if my futile attempts to try and "appear normal and stable" have been counter productive to my emotional needs. I've been trying to be stable for a few years now, and failing miserably, and becoming more miserable due to it. Do you suppose some people are just "gypsies" and just have to go? I want the stability of having my own place, but the safety of being able to leave when I want, or have to. I wonder if that's a PTSD thing, too, due to being in predicaments where I was trapped and couldn't leave?

    I pray you (and many others) never find themselves in the position of being homeless. Despite the kindness of some places who help people, they're still not a good place to be. They fill up so quickly, and there's less room than there are people. Its terrifying.
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i've been writing and thinking about exactly the same thing recently. :smile: i can only speak from my own experience:

    i do find if i stay in my flat and the 'stable thing' goes on for too long, i feel like i need to run out again for days and walk a lot. i feel like i'm going to explode. but at least i know how to create that (stability) for myself, in the past i'd be out all the time trying to work my emotional issues out through walking or travelling around london.

    i realised recently the anxiety i felt in my flat doing the 'stable thing' had to do with being very alone, feeling trapped, feeling like i didn't exist, and feeling like someone was going to hurt me and i felt better outside moving around. i used to be so all-over-the-place in the past, i wouldn't eat properly though and wander for weeks. recently, it's been a huge pleasant change to keep my fridge full of vegetables/food and make sure i keep my meals going.

    if i could, if i'd go loads of places, but i'm just too mentally exhausted to do that at the moment.
  9. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    :hug: thank you. i recently realise i have been homeless for a lot all my life until very recently, and even though i had (many) roofs over my head, i was always running, and it was never ever safe.
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