Basically the anxiety is killing me, it's bordering on paranoia. I couldn't even log into this forum for hours after I woke today which sounds ridiculous I know, but my chest was tight even thinking about it. I had to turn my phone off, close my curtains. I don't know why the anxiety is getting this bad again. I am sitting here feeling a bit worthless and useless right now and feel like a freak. I feel I am a burden on everyone One good thing happened today, one of my best friends gave birth to a baby girl and while it's amazing news, I feel very jealous. I want a baby to love. I know I would be a great mother. I'm looking forward to seeing her and her new little girl, she stood by me through thick and thin during the rape investigation. But I cannot shift this ''everyone is out for me feeling''. I'm stumped. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I sometimes do get acute anxiety attacks, hopefully this will pass soon.