Anxiety & OCD :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheWr0ngChild, Jan 18, 2009.

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  1. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    It's back, it's ALL back. I had a glitch on my computer yesterday which I fixed but it seemed to be the catalyst for all my panic, anxiety, physical symptoms and the lot to come rolling back into my life.

    My other monitor needs a new power cable, THATS whats doing me in right now, thats all it takes. I'm miserable. I don't want to make my boyfriend miserable too so I hide most of it until he's out at work or in bed, then I just sit in the dark & cry & cry & cry.

    I got drunk last night just to have a break from feeling like my chest is going to explode. I have OCD too but it's not been this big an issue for years, I'm getting all my handwashing, germ & fear of being sick obsessions back, won't eat certain foods etc etc.

    I go through phases of it, this one is by far the worst I've had in a while. I am getting in touch with this new Asperger support team but it's taking too long, I need help NOW, not in 3 weeks, not in 8, NOW. If not I am so afraid I'm going to land up either being sectioned or worse.
     
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I know how you feel.

    I have OCD as well as another anxiety disorder they are going to try and diagnose on the 27th.

    Just try to do something relaxing to get your mind off of your problems.

    I find if I'm focused on something fun like xbox my anxiety dims down.
     
  3. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Nothing stops it apart from alcohol & codiene pills...
     
  4. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    i was prescribed diazepam for my anziety and sleepless nights n it really helped me, i slept like a baby and didn't have the energy to worry half as much, not good if you drive or have a hectic work schedule but otherwise if you could get it prescribed and it would suit your symptoms i'd recommend it xxx
     
  5. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    How would you go about getting that though without looking like a junkie? It's not something you can just walk up to a doctor and ask for.
     
  6. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

  7. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    I love kurt cobain

    What's strange is I felt a need especially to click on this thread.

    I think I could really help someone with OCD. But I need to be in their daily life with them.

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
     
  8. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I think I'm a bit beyond help.

    I like Kurt for the very fact he DID NOT want to be famous. I think he disliked himself enough to beleive that nobody would like his music, see his shows or buy his records, it started as a bit of fun and was meant to end there. I don't think he could handle being what he became.
     
  9. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    His creative ability manifested an unbalance because of the depth of it which lead to spiraling out of control.

    He didn't expect so much attention consiously, but deep down he knew that his energy was fated to attract this and he accepted it to some degree as a problem but had a lot of trouble considering himself as worthy as what the world saw in him. And what he projected which was not entirely within his control. And because he felt unworthy of this projection he hated people as if they were constantly lieing to him about his worth and not understanding his real self beneath the rockstar energy creative genius that he spewed forth unconsiously without any effort on his part.

    You can see in his lyrics the guilt from being so honored and upheld by others when he felt unworthy.
    lyrics like
    "All apologies" and "I think i'm dumb",
    "I feel stupid and contagious", and "oh the guilt"


    all these were reflections of his spiritual worth that he felt within, compared with the massive attention and honor people gave to him. He was an intelligent guy and intelligent enough to understand he wasn't actually as mature or evolved as people admired him for. Which disgusted him. Made him feel guilty and over exalted.

    I know a lot about cobain I have no idea why.

    I have met atleast one other person who has a similar thing in terms of unconscious energy projection that becomes unusually attractive.

    Never think he committed suicide because he didn't. He was actually murdered and it was made to look as suicide. There is evidence of that and I also had a dream and vision of how it happened, on the day it happened. Without knowledge of who this person was at the time as I was only 10-11 years old. now I know what really happened.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 19, 2009
  10. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Yes I go with the murder theory a lot. The song 'Something In The Way' & the 'suicide note' which was NOT a suicide note, suggests his intentions to leave Courtney and the music business. He was planning that for a long time I think, probably by that time he had made his mind up. She, obvioulsy hungry for his fame, killed him/had him killed so she could become his ghost, I have not an ounce of time for that woman.
     
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