It's a killer... Very intense once it starts and immobilizes me. I try to distract and do stuffs to lessen it. But most nights it comes back, not every, but most. Work is backed up and more demands are being made of me. Financially the cushion I had has evaporated and making it month to month is a struggle. Artistically, zilch is happening. Do I just quit? Medically, I wish things were known. Old things mix with new things to create this enormous almost impenetrable mass of things, and it just feels like too much. Yet again. Harmful thoughts are being reignited. I'm again not possible to see long term. Sorry.... It's another whine, but a deep and true one. Bothered, scared, upset and quite panicky atm.