Anxiety

[Pebble mouse]

Just came home from shopping with my dad. I was in a constant panic the whole time and I am really worried I'm embarrassing him. I must look weird to other people. I have pretty severe social anxiety and yes I know that social anxiety is all about being worried about embarrassing/humiliating yourself and that people with it tend to be harsh to themselves about their level of functioning, but I know he noticed. I feel really low now and I am through with this shit. I can't go out without being terrified for fu**s sake. When I was getting out of his car, he told me he is there if I was struggling. He only says that when something is going on. I am very very lucky to have him, I know that many people here have no-one in their lives. Like I have said, I am extremely concerned im making him uncomfortable. I will NOT harm myself, but christ I am thinking about it.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this. I've got social anxiety too.

I've found that if I can tell someone that I'm in social contact with that I've got social anxiety, then I'll feel much more relaxed. I guess you can't really do that on a shopping trip though.

Do you feel like if you had gone out alone, things would have been better or worse?

 

[may71]

I know that social anxiety is all about being worried about embarrassing/humiliating yourself

I think that's true. I think it's also comes from something physical too, like if I haven't had a good night's rest, it'll be much worse. I also found that not consuming anything raw or cold made it much better.

 

[Pebble mouse]

Hi @may71. You know yourself I'm sure, how crippling social anxiety can be. If I could get rid of anything it would NOT be my BPD, that is for sure. I am heavily medicated and it's meant to help, but really I have noticed that it doesn't seem to work and that my general state of mind will govern how my anxiety is. I am so sick of this. I want to say too, that I'm sorry if I'm rambling and not making sense. My cognition has gone out the window.

 

[Lane]

Just came home from shopping with my dad. I was in a constant panic the whole time and I am really worried I'm embarrassing him. I must look weird to other people. I have pretty severe social anxiety and yes I know that social anxiety is all about being worried about embarrassing/humiliating yourself and that people with it tend to be harsh to themselves about their level of functioning, but I know he noticed. I feel really low now and I am through with this shit. I can't go out without being terrified for fu**s sake. When I was getting out of his car, he told me he is there if I was struggling. He only says that when something is going on. I am very very lucky to have him, I know that many people here have no-one in their lives. Like I have said, I am extremely concerned im making him uncomfortable. I will NOT harm myself, but christ I am thinking about it.

Hi @Pebble mouse. I'm not sure if I should even be replying to your post because I don't suffer from social anxiety to this level.

But, I wanted to say that you deserved credit for going out even though it was a challenge. Baby steps. I know also how hard we can be on ourselves and your father loves you, it shows from what you write. I'd be happy to help my child too, so I'm sure that you are no burden and just a blessing.

 

[Nick]

@Pebble mouse I do understand this level of social anxiety. It is very difficult for me to go out into public places, especially when there are lots of people around. It is part of why I would always be extremely hesitant to go shopping or out somewhere with a friend, because they may not be understanding. The last time I went out in public with someone they were very understanding, and I don't think I could ever express to them what that meant to me. Though I was still anxious as hell, it really did help that they were calm and not making me feel even more out of place about it.

I guess the way I see it, if I was making my friend uncomfortable he wouldn't have taken me with him. Probably the same with your dad. He wouldn't take you places if he had a problem with it.

I don't have any great answers for making it better, but I really do understand how difficult it is.

 

[Champagne]

Hi there, pebble. I totally feel for you on this topic, anxiety is my main illness I suffer with the most. I understand everything you posted, I'm glad he was there for you

Anxiety is an illness very hard to overcome but little by little you can bring down the levels a bit with the right therapy and right supports in play. I know its really hard but I am glad you posted about it here, you really are not alone. It is difficult and its trying but hopefully in the future the more you go out, the more going out will become normal for you, therefore, less anxiety.

for you.

 

[Pebble mouse]

Thankyou all, for your supportive words. Its good to know I'm not alone in this. I had a really bad day, but it's not the end of the world. I struggle every day I go out, but I really let it get the better of me. I'm seeing my dad and sister tomorrow and am really looking forward to it. I'm not seriously considering harming myself. It's just very frustrating facing the same thing time after time. I really don't think exposure works for me. ((hugs)) to all.