Anxious and sleepless in the AM

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BlondRedHead, Jun 20, 2009.

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  1. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    I'm brilliant after midnight. That is if I am not having a total meltdown. Tonight I came dangerously close again. I keep doing things for people trying to be the good guy and unselfish. My moms been depressed so I opted out of a party to stay in and make her dinner, rented this movie she wanted. She kept calling and saying she would be home soon and finally at 11:15 she was like oh well I am staying at my bf's tonight. Fine, whateves. I am just sitting here with a home made pizza, drinking tea and trying to quiet the demons fighting to get out. I thought about having a joint and crashing but I am home alone tonight and I think I am going to have a full fledged panic attack any minute. I took one of those little blue pills earlier. Not helping, I still feel like there is someone with their hand in my chest squeezing my lungs and heart. It's hard to breath and I am kind of spazzing out. Time for another pill. Listening to, Girl from the North County originally by Bob Dylan but redone by Lions. Good song. Someone talk me down please... I am so sick of being a nutcase.
     
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey there.u dont dont sound like a nutcase.u sound like a really nice person!its a shame ur mum didnt come back 2 try ur pizza.*on the bright side - more pizza for u :rolleyes:
    prolly not a gd idea 2 have a joint home alone.if ur anything like me having a joint when im by myself makes me more likely 2 have a panic attack.try 2 get a gd nights sleep if u can x here if u ever fancy a chat :hug:
     
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