Anxious due to work..

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by cren, Feb 1, 2016.

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  1. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    so.. every single morning before i go to work.. i always feel anxious.. it's like i'm scared to go to work.. afraid to meet the people that i practically meet every single day.. i hate my work.. and i'm not sure if that's the reason why i'm anxious about it.. i just know that i don't want to go to work.. i think of it and i panic.. every sunday night.. i'd refuse to go to sleep just so it wouldn't be monday already.. i'm not sure if i've mentioned it anywhere in this forum before.. but that's how i feel.. i'm basically scared of a lot of things.. and when i think of the possible things to happen at work.. it always left me with fear of the uncertainty.. recently i was assigned to present something at work.. i'm so scared to do it.. everybody says i can do it.. but all i can think of is their betrayal of my trust.. i just can't see any reason why i won't mess up on that presentation.. i hate it.. as if i'm not miserable enough.. whenever i think of the presentation.. it leads me to all the other things that i'm forced to do.. and make me question why i still continue this life i'm currently living.. i'm always getting used by someone.. i never felt like i was appreciated anywhere.. not even at home.. my family would just neglect me.. always think of my brother's welfare before mine.. it's like i'm never good enough.. like i'm always the a second thought.. an alternative when they don't have any other choice.. the only time people remember me is when they need me to do something for them.. i look at myself in the mirror and i saw a very sad girl.. and it left me wondering why no one even bothered to ask why i'm sad..
     
  2. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    I just wanted to say that I can relate entirely to this. I hated my job so much I used to wake and lie in bed for about half an hour each day just convincing myself to go in and having a back and forth argument in my head about it and sometimes wishing I were just dead instead. And I used to get Sunday anxiety starting from just after lunch on Sunday: pre Monday blues I suppose. But I really dreaded it.

    I guess this may be obvious but I hope you are looking for another job. I know how challenging this can be though. I have now been doing my own search for a very long time, but if you want to PM me and I can help you search or anything of the sort, let me know and I will.

    It is very painful when you totally hate your work, given that we spend so much of our waking hours there or preparing or travelling to get there. Try to keep doing a good job there but I'd say keep your eyes open for something else also.

    I also know how hard it is when you don't have that family support. Everyone likes to say that you should speak to loved ones, let them know how you feel but I know this can actually be either a source of pain, or make things worse sometimes. You're not alone...
     
  3. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    thanks.. unfortunately in the state of the economy in my country it is difficult to find a good paying job.. and i can't afford to lose the current one i have.. i've been wanting to leave my job but i just can't afford to do it as of now.. i just need to settle my finances before i can finally do it.. and also it's what my parents want me to do..
     
  4. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Well-Known Member

    [QUOTE="and also it's what my parents want me to do..[/QUOTE]

    Are you me?? That part is too familiar to me; I know that pressure of living up to the parents' desires and standard professionally. I understand your sentiments in respect of the economy. I am happy to help you search once you give me parameters as there just might be even one other job of a suitable nature out there...probably won't hurt to look if it is that bad.

    Otherwise, I'm not sure what else to say really as I just know how challenging and detrimental it is being in a soul-crushing environment week in week out.

    Hopefully things get better in some way.
     
  5. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    it sucks having to live up to the expectations of your parents.. especially if you've been trying so hard and it still doesn't get noticed by them.. my work environment is not how it used to be.. i got transferred to a branch a few months ago and i'm still adjusting.. to be honest my suicidal thoughts started because of the stress from work.. i think of it and the horrible thoughts starts.. i really hope i can find a new one soon.. thanks a lot.. i'll probably take you up on your offer.. good luck to the both of us..
     
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