anxious

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Nov 12, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hey sorry to post just anxious alot having so much chest pain just grabs you and can't breath. My daughter birthday tommorrow she is 21 god i thought she wasn't ever going to make it to this day. We will spend quiet day together at the zoo she loves animals. The thing is she wants to go big city on sunday with friends i will be at work. Everytime she goes there with friends i get call saying she is critical i am just so anxious She has been sick last few days and i am actually hoping she remains sick so she doesn't have energy to go anywhere. Sorry i know this sound mean but i can't keep doing this ican't Stupid anxiety stupid i know but just pray she doesn't get into trouble this sunday god pray please no more trauma please. I am actually thinking also maybe time for me to just let go of everything stop therapy because i know in long run the only way i will stay well if my daughter stays well. I know stupid thoughts just tired i guess just so dam tired.
     
  2. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    hey i've got children also and they are 15 and 17. i have come to realize that there are just some times you've got to let them go. they've got to learn these lessons for themselves. hopefully your daughter has learned from her previous experiences. i'm certainly not saying that any of this is easy cause i know better than that. we don't want to see our children learn any lessons the hard way, but unfortunately as their means of letting us go that is what happens. i hope you enjoy your time with her on her birthday for sure.

    thanks for listening and take care
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thanks i know she is an adult but she just cannot say no to friends and she is just becoming stable on her new meds i just don't want her sick again. thanks for response
     
  4. Rhondarani

    Rhondarani Guest

    I just wanted to say.......DITTTTTTTTO.......I am new to this site but not new being anxious..........the ones left behind are the real troubled,and tormented, but,,,not thaat I have ever sonsidered suicide......but the ways in which a loved ones suicide manifest in those left behind is the ugliest form of cruelity I willl never understand or have a minute of ,what I remember, and others say u will have again, but u wont.....PERIOD....u will have a version and hopefully many happy times to come but, it will b a shattered n gutwrenchingly assorment of both happy n sad.....all tooooooooo realistic and reserved and heavily armored spirited persons reality of lifes good, bad and ugly...heavy,,,weird,,,,,let her know that if she ends her misery, n she loves u..........she will be unleashing a life sentence b BRUTALITY against those left behing,,n it wont help a damn bit if that hurting u was not the intention.........n i am a newby to this thought or a hypothethical analizer of events.......;.;..;................I witnessed.........the guy who said I n our 3 yr old daughter n his boy n girl 12 yr old twins more then anything......................he said hey Ron.......n he shot himself n i c it.feel it.remeber,drfeam,hate,miss,cry,think what ifs,say what if this n that, I have never had one emotion or expierence that is not influenced by his ending n taking OF HIS LIFE AND MINE TOO and eliminating his respnsibilty to JUST STAY N SEE WHAT TOMMORO BRINGS.....MAYBE IF SHE KNOWS THE HELL FOR OTHERS SHE WILL LEAVE THEM WITH IT WILL BE ENOUGH FOR HER TO WANT TO STAY ANOTHER N THEN ANOTHER N ANOTHER N ANOTHER DAY N SSSSSOOOOOOO ON...GOD BLESS
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yeh i hope she knows i just lost my brother to suicide she know devastation left behind. Well the zoo went well she looked like a little kid again seeing all different animals she is still sick but she enjoyed it and so did i I haven't had a relaxing time like that for awhile i could actually feel myself be happy for awhile thanks for response.
     
  6. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    I can't imagine what you're going thorugh right now, I mean I have kids, but they're ok, and times like these I realize just how lucky I am. Sorry violet I cannot say anything useful to you, I hope if she goes with friends on Sunday everything will be ok. :hug:
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks for your reply morfea right now she is sick still but wants to go out for supper Maybe it will pour rain on Sunday and they will decide not to go I hope so take care and thanks
     
  8. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    Whatever happens she is lucky to have you as her mother. I hope you try not to worry about it, I know it's hard, maybe even impossible, but if she goes out maybe the work will keep you occupied not to think so much about it. You'll be in my thoughts.
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yeh she was too sick to go anywhere so in a way a good thing she was sick. She is doing a little better today looked after the rest of the gang today and now i thing i need some sleep i am so very tired these days wish i wasn't. Positvie note she stayed home and is getting better.
     
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm glad to hear she is getting better hun. And you know why? Because you have been there for her. Letting her see that no matter what she does or what is going on....you have and will be there. You are the one constant that she has. I know it is sooooo overwhelmingly tiring. You're posts show just how physically and emotionally tired you are. But the day at the zoo was good!!!! It help to revive you a bit!!! Maybe you need to try and plan little outings like that say once a week. It will give you both something to look forward to. And it will help to reconnect your daughter with the mom that loves her. She has been struggling really hard too. And I think a special little outing (with you so that you can keep that doting mom eye on her lol) will help you both to see just how far she is coming in her recovery. If you see for yourself that she does well on those outings it may help to calm you a little when she wants to go out with friends. Hang in there hun. You may not see it now, but you are such a strong woman. She has you and you have us. Keep posting and letting out all you can.
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks for all support i try so hard to keep myself stable for her. Just wish i could cry and let it all out but can't Oh never been one for crying I am grateful my daughter has shown some healing but it seem like she moves ahead one step then back two. It is a 24hr job but she is worth it. I think i would like another trip out with her but she needs friends her own age she grows tired of me. I wish she could find some good friends maybe I am going to sign her up for art classes maybe some bowling she needs her independance and i just need to be able to trust her. Not going to happen for a long time not after the hell sorry im sorry please god I am grateful for all the help here and for letting me vent without fear thankyou for letting me just get out everything I keep so much inside because i am so afraid of getting thrown away again. I hate me so much Hey its okay i will try maybe going for walk tommorrow at beach with daughter exercise is good. thanks itmahanh please stay strong as i know you have your own struggles please stay strong okay take care all.
     
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