Any advice on Poison?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hecte, Mar 29, 2007.

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  1. hecte

    hecte Active Member

    Ive wanted to commit suicide for a good year now. Ive thought about it atleast once a day every day.
    I started researching methods a long time ago and have finally come upon one that I think suits me. It involves <Mod Edit: Abacus21 - methods> The good thing is that if I fuck it up I wont have any side effects other than minor liver damage and my body wont be a bloody mess for my family or friends to clean up. It should just look like I died in my sleep. <Mod Edit: Abacus21-methods>

    About a year ago I attempted suicide <Mod Edit: Abacus21-methods> I woke up about 4 hours later at the break of dawn my fingers and toes were numb and I was wheezing a bit, it kinda felt like an asthma attack. I got out of my car and sat down on a rock untill I slowly recovered all day. That week I felt like absolut shit. I knew that I didnt want to go through another botched suicide.

    I really dont know where Im going with this I guess im just scared. <Mod Edit: Abacus21-methods>
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2007
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    This site is pro-life hecte, which means no methods.

    Why do you feel that you need to commit suicide?
  3. hecte

    hecte Active Member

    oops im sorry.

    The reasons are complicated and so complicated infact that I think something is wrong with me. The problems ive had have happened over a long period of time but when I think of suicide they all compound into one problem for some reason even though some of the problems have been for the most part solved and are well out of my way. Ill list them.

    @I fell in love, the girl cheated on me, I got hurt really bad.
    @The girl told ridiculous rumors about me to everyone I knew making my life miserable.
    @I failed out of school due to grief caused by the girl.
    @I began drinking, I got to the point where I was drinking atleast a 12 pack a day.
    @I then attempted suicide and failed.
    @I fell In love with a new girl.
    @she didnt want to be with me. Only friends
    @Ive seen her go through a few boyfriends. Everyone of them has treated her like crap or been a jerk. I dont understand what makes me so horrible in comparison to the jerks she has dated. It drives me nuts.
    @My uncle died of a heart attack.
    @My friend commited suicide of a drug overdose.
    @Im addicted to painkillers.
    @I lost my job due to the other problems in my life I had a hard time coping with.
    @I still love this new girl and I dont know what to do, theres really nothing I can do. I know I could be happy with her everytime I get to spend time with her I feel like nothing else matters. It eats away at me every day.
    @Im afraid of what my future will be like. If my life has been this lousy so far id rather die now then die as a homless alcholic bum on some street corner. Atleast now I might have an obituary.
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