i have started seeing a psychologist, and i know i am going to have to tell her what happened in my child-hood that has made life so unbearable. at the moment i dont feel i can. im not sure i can trust her, my paranoia is very strong. i am so embarrased and ashamed, that it's going to be difficult. i feel like it is admitting to commiting a crime or something like that. there is the counsellor who i trust more, and she has advised me to start talking. as i am also on a time frame due to reasons i have no control of. i have decided to start writing it down. my story, as i like to call it. i have just written some now, no great detail, but it was the beginning of the story. i felt physically sick, and i felt like i was going to cry, but i tried my best not to (as i dont like crying). does anyone have any advice from your experience of telling your story of how to go about telling it, who u told first, the after effects???? this is the beginning for me and its not going aswell as i would have hoped. i didnt think it would effect me this bad. it makes it so real. thanks.