I am having a really hard time right now. between Christmas, and my dog got sick. When he gets sick I feel like I lose my mind.. I mean I go completely out of my mind. As soon as he starts with his symptoms I just totally break down. I've been crying for the last four days straight. I mean just totally broken down. totally devastated. I have been so suicidal. I want to die so bad. I have weird thoughts. This Christmas and my dog being sick has really done me in.