Any hope?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Silently-Hated, Oct 17, 2012.

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  1. Silently-Hated

    Silently-Hated Well-Known Member

    I've been thinking a lot lately, and me thinking isn't really good thing... It causes me to see all the bad things I cause, causes me to believe that I deserve no one and I'm the worst person in the world. Makes me believe that no one cares, but that last one is true no one cares. Who would care?... No one not for me, why would anyone have a reason to care about me? So I was thinking that if I just left, just left entirely that it would make people happy...
    I think about that a lot ya know... I think about what it would be like to die, peaceful? No I'll go to Hell. I know this already it's what I deserve, I give in to easily so I'll go to hell, I don't do what I'm told so I'll go to hell... Well that la what everyone tells me at least
    I don't care, long as I die... I won't miss life, it hasn't been all that good.. N I highly doubt that it would ever get better for me...
    I don't believe in hope to be honest... Kinda the reason I wrote this... I don't believe in hope because I don't believe that the next day will be any better. I'll go on not eating or sleeping hoping that I can make it through the day without doing something reckless to feel pain maybe even do enough to kill me... But no hope in that, there's no hope in anything...
    Lifes a pile of shit and I just happen to be buried deep in it...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    oh hun yes life can throw us alot of bull it can but hun there is hope that tomorrow the next day the next one day the dam sun will shine through and something will change and we finally get a break and we are glad we stuck it out hun. I care about you i know life hurts hell i know but it can get better if you reach out open doors find the support you deserve you can find a different path hun one not so dark
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Well, let's start like this - we're both full of pain, basically out of place, no especially good reason to wake up in the morning.

    There are a whole lot of us, and when we get together, we can help each other, maybe just through the night, or a test at school, or a bad time at home.

    I do believe in hope, that's why I keep checking this place out, I come here expecting it to work, and it does. I can't think of a time recently that I felt okay, or that things would work out or that my shredded life would rejoin in some sense or order.But I've caught brief, tantalyzing glimpses of that being a reality. I can't make it appear at will, but some of the others here tell me that it, life, can be different from what it is now. But, for whatever reason, its harder for us. I can come around, soak up some support and encouragement. I can speak what I need to, (within the FAQs) without being judged or criticized. There are some things, that once opened, and discussed, lose their power to take up space in my mind and cause turmoil in me

    Anyway, I'm tired now, and rambling, I hope I made some sense. Good luck, and good night,,,,,
  4. dizgrace

    dizgrace Member

    I would care. I've never met you, but now i've read this I do care. Hold on to hope hun xxx
  5. ekki2

    ekki2 Member

    There is a small amount of cognitive dissonance between your thread title and its content. You ask in the title for hope, yet you reject the very idea of it in the post itself.

    You also mentioned hoping to get through the day. All in all, theres actually alot of hope in your post! I count 5 pieces of hope.

    "Hope has two beautiful daughters – their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are." - St. Augustine

    Where did you leave your courage? By the way, to created this thread; you used hope.
  6. Count Floyd

    Count Floyd Well-Known Member

    I see you've posted 53 times so you're hanging on. Keep on hanging. I find everyone's words here very helpful. It's nice folks in this forum. Read what they say. There is hope. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not next month. But at some point. Something good will happen to you and you will look back and realize how glad you are you didn't end things. It's tough. No one knows more than I. But hang in there, man. You're a good person. Remember that.
  7. Silently-Hated

    Silently-Hated Well-Known Member

    Thanks... All of you have helped out in your depots, I disagree on somethings, but I understand as well.. Thanks
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