Any Ideas?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Cloud206, Aug 16, 2011.

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  1. Cloud206

    Cloud206 Well-Known Member

    What the hell do you do if....
    1) You have a few friends who dont seem interested in you whatsoever
    2) Small family of which you are the failure and bane of
    3) Live in a place where theres nothing much to do at all but cant afford to move away
    4) Are so on edge about going out around town due to not wanting to see certain people
    5) Have zero self confidence and self esteem
    6) Can not lose weight whatsoever even though you try
    7) Feel worthless, lonely and actually have no purpose at all
    8) Have so many regrets that it rips your mind and heart apart til your nothing but an empty shell.

    Any answers appreciated. I dont speak to anyone all day most days so this may be the only way i can talk to anyone. Be creative :blink:
     
  2. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    pick something you want to learn. Something that is fun and opens your eyes to a bit of the world maybe,, loads of free info on the net so you dont need to pay out ridiculous money on courses. its just to give you a taste. You could probably take free courses on stuff or cheep ones if you look online.

    try getting a project, sounds daft but maybe a beat up old car or motorbike, or if not into that a piece of old furniture for restoration. something that doesnt cost much but can give you tonnes of pleasure.

    volunteer to be a reader at an old persons home or in a hospital perhaps, just an hour a week or whatever, gets you out and meeting new people and your really helping out,, so many people need the help.

    what are you good at what do you like? can you turn your hand to anything perhaps?

    can you get a dog? a little puppy, a friend you can train, take a walk exc,,, my dane is my best friend, always ready to poo on the carpet when i need a smile!

    feel free to pm if you ever want to chat, kinda get in ruts myself a lot of the time.
     
  3. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    Hello:)

    I'm pretty much like that too, I just found a purpose. It doesn't make all those other stuff disapear but makes it all bearable.
    I really go nuts without a purpose, so that was always The start for me.
    You could try focusing on something you love to do, and following it somehow.
    Just a thought.

    I hope it all gets better and you'll tell us about it.
    :spidey:
     
  4. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I have a lot of the same problems that you do. I don't have many friends either, but the one I do have is a great friend.

    To feel more purpose, you have to find something that you really like doing, and keep doing it. When you enjoy doing something, and you're good at it, it really helps boost your self-esteem.

    And for losing wieght, a low carb and high protein diet really works for me. I've been a type 1 diabetic for 11 years, so counting carbs isn't hard for me to do (but I really don't have a choice either). I try to stay withing a range of 100-130 carbs a day, but a little over that is fine. Also, try to take a walk everyday, that really helps. If you take walks, and watch your carbs, you should be able to lose weight.

    If you lonely or you just want to talk, PM me anytime!
     
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    You've answered yourself by just asking these questions.

    Your main difficulty is just talking to people letting your 'secret' out - and that kind of creates the rut

    Abjure comes up with some great suggestions also. Cheers! :biggrin:

    Courses, education, you always meet people as you are all 'new' to each other. And there are always people like me - who talk to anyone and in a manner which is not untoward.

    Confidence comes when we do something.

    Say you done a short computer course - for you its like climbing a mountain but that small goal is the kind of thing you need to get confidence back.

    As for weight - sure its a self image thing and might be a medical thing as if we get too overweight it can lead to other issues. But woman are all shapes and sizes - I guess many are just 'bonny' and will always have a few extra pounds - and at the end of the day its your health really - and that is easy really - its just losing the first pound! - maybe a slimmers club or maybe just doing a course or two would get you out of the house!

    Do talk to other woman also - on this forum. Many live by each other so could phone and with another girl you got that safety and the connections with issues you mention.

    But we all feel that lack of self confidence at times - and need to make a plan of action to actually make things better.

    When we do things we meet others.

    When you have confidence back - you will learn that regrets are just best left alone - don't dig up the past thinking that looking at the buried bones will make anything better. Try to aim to do something positive and you will meet new people and make friends again.

    This forum is a great help as you can say something and people WILL listen to you and we do care.

    As you stick around people will become more familiar and you will have a level of trust with people because you share something VERY important to you and hope and pray those you share it with will respect you.

    You come to the right place for that.

    We know how it is - so you got people who are 100% with you in that we know what this is about and how it makes you feel.

    Letting it out is the start of the healing process.

    Good luck cloud206

    Regards.
     
  6. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

  7. Jelly

    Jelly Well-Known Member

    "What the hell do you do if....
    1) You have a few friends who dont seem interested in you whatsoever
    2) Small family of which you are the failure and bane of
    3) Live in a place where theres nothing much to do at all but cant afford to move away
    4) Are so on edge about going out around town due to not wanting to see certain people
    5) Have zero self confidence and self esteem
    6) Can not lose weight whatsoever even though you try
    7) Feel worthless, lonely and actually have no purpose at all
    8) Have so many regrets that it rips your mind and heart apart til your nothing but an empty shell."

    My answer is talk to somebody about it. You're absolutely not worthless. Talking to someone you can trust (Anyone on here could help, my PM is always open) might help you a lot. It's worth a try.

    I'm so sorry to hear about the pain you are going through...Please know I am always available to talk if you drop me a PM.

    <3 You're special and we're proud you are still here.
     
  8. Cloud206

    Cloud206 Well-Known Member

    wow thanks for all the replies. Dont know where to begin but il try and respond to all your points

    Abjure
    looked at courses before, but nothing really caught my eye, especially at the price of some of them, for something i can never really gain the benefit from tbh.

    Not really into cars or anything like that so thats out the picture really. Only thing i thought about doing was setting up my own webiste for stuff but not sure how i would get any visitors tbh lol. so seems kinda pointless

    no support groups or meetings around here, only in a small town in the UK im afraid.

    dont know what im good at really, not alot ive been led to believe from others. or not good enough at least.

    Honestly i would love a dog or cat but i still live at home and my mum and sister are very agaisnt the idea. a goldfish is just about all they can manage

    Sais
    Ye a purpose is a good way to describe what i crave. something to look forward to or a reason to get up in the morning is hard enough atm. Im afraid the things i love to do (video games, movies, football/soccer, wrestling) are all kinda outa my league in following it more than just being a fan of sorts. why i was thinking of a website perhaps to jot all my thoughts down.
    And cool picture, thanks.

    pancake111
    I have about 3 friends but they all have their own little groups that splinter off away from me, and i clash with certain people in those groups so its tough. i feel like they get in contact if they need something most of the time tbh. Ye i used to have a purpose of getting up every morning but that dissapeared about 18 months ago im afraid. in terms of the weight stuff, i walk 30 mins to work and back each day, and do about 50 press ups, situps and squats before bed each night, eat less and i still lose nothing. Ive never been skinny but i think i was just meant to be this shape.

    peacelovingguy
    Your awesome. Plain as. Love your posts. Like some wise old man. No offence :tongue:

    Jelly
    Its very hard to talk about it as everyone i know will be pretty judgmental and has their own problems without having me as baggage. im more concerned for them than i am for myself. just how ive always been. Hasnt turned out too well so far though.

    Thanks for all the replies so swiftly, surprised but glas at the same time. If i have any updates il post in here. im trying to go down to the coast to see my stepsister soon hopefully, she needs the support atm but it could be a fun weekend. I rant alot so get used to it im afraid.

    Thanks again all, now its off to play Final Fantasy 7 again, listen to dream theater, and watch Akira. Or maybe some batman animated series...
    Why am i still typing?
    Sorry Rant over.

    Thank you all again, any more suggestions or ideas based on my replies is appreciated. Hope you are all well.
     
  9. Cloud206

    Cloud206 Well-Known Member

    I dont know what to do with myself anymore..
    What is the point of all this?
     
  10. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I don't know what the point of all of this is either, but I think you should talk to a therapist if you don't already. Keeping everything locked up inside only makes you feel worse.
     
  11. twofeet

    twofeet Well-Known Member

    I've felt that way before, for months. I was in an itty bitty box and couldn't see ANYTHING. For now, is it enough to keep sending out notes and getting them back? One of these days, you find a little peephole to see out. And one of these days, you find something that gives you the encouragement to break down a whole wall.
     
  12. Cloud206

    Cloud206 Well-Known Member

    Just alot of little things that set me off. I was feeling ok and stuff but then a few things add up into what i make big and i just get completely down and out again, comfort eat and do nothing. Just sit about all day and night. One big endless cycle for which there is no way of breaking it. Any solution i get given i see a problem with so it wont work. :i'm sorry:
     
  13. LIOKRIS

    LIOKRIS Active Member

    Sounds almost like me.
    U don't see any point of living and moving on with your life.
    And u feel somehow useless.
    I know that we all have choices in life to be a better people to achieve more.
    So I think you have to put yourself together be a stronger person ans somehow just to try to do something in your life.
    Die trying! Rather regret that u didn't do anything .
     
  14. Cloud206

    Cloud206 Well-Known Member

    id rather just straight up dissapear and get this shit over with tbh
     
  15. Cloud206

    Cloud206 Well-Known Member

    Im so alone. I just feel like im dead to the world so in a way i might as well just be dead and stop being a problem in peoples lives.
     
  16. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    :hug:
     
  17. twofeet

    twofeet Well-Known Member

    You are incredibly stuck right now. You can't see any way out because you can't see, not because there is no way out. Keep calling out for help, keep reaching for any piece or tatter that can get you through the next hour. Just get through the day. Eventually, you'll notice a little strength to begin actually wanting to live again.

    Maybe you have never discovered it, but life itself makes it worth the struggle. Hang in there.
     
  18. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    What also comes to mind, is if you are eating correctly and exercising, and still not loosing wt, maybe speak to your GP and make sure you do not have a medical complication (e.g. thyroid or such) which would be interfering in your sucess...J
     
  19. lemonparade

    lemonparade Member

    Agreed with Sadeyes. If you are exercising and eating well and not losing the weight you want aswell as feeling depressed it is worth getting ypur thyroid and hormones and other things checked. Talk to a doc to rule them out?
     
  20. Cloud206

    Cloud206 Well-Known Member

    Sad thing is i call out for help here as i seem to not ever be contacted by any of my few friends unless its for their own benefit it seems. Im just oh so tired of sitting around on my own all the time pretty much. im too scared to tell anyone in real life about my feelings and thoughts, let alone pick up the phone to talk to my doctor or anything, especially as i dont really get along with her. Everything just seems so monotonous. I cant help comparing my life now to what it was from around 2004-2009 end of. 2010 and 11 have been utter utter wastes, in the so called "best years of your life" (im 21.) I just dont know what to say to anyone anymore, so say nothing at all. Dont go out anywhere socially in order not to embarass myself. Or see people i really could not bear to see but thats another story. Like i said before i dont exist to anyone so why bother.

    P.S in regards to the weight thing, i eat less, just lunch really, walk hour a day to work and do exercises in my room before bed at night and havent really had much reuslt so far. But to be honest my erratic sleep patterns and random comfort eating evenings may not help. Im not exactly obese or anything, im 5"8-5"10 and 12 stone, trying to get down to 10ish. May start going for a run in mornings soon too. Just my motivation to do anything is absolute zero atm. Maybe my metabolsim is just stupidly low or something, ive never been skinny to the extent you see on tv that is "normal". about as normal as size 0 is for women.

    Anyway ive ranted on far too long here, thanks for the answers and replies anyway, gives me something to look forward to checking every day as sad as that sounds.
     
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