Any psychos here?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Angelo_91, Sep 16, 2009.

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  1. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Have you ever felt like you were making progress but really it's all in your head. You realize your taking the steps but then realize why the hell would I want to be like the people I hate. When you have this bitter, jaded attitude and you know it's not getting you anywhere, but you love the feeling. Love the word disappointment because it defines you and you can flaunt it so well that it is just so beautiful to you.

    But then at times you totally change into a person with an attitude who is ready to fight for change and fitting in to the society, but at the same time you are uncertain and filled with regrets and have this undyng thought in your head that it will never happen. And you smile about it. Smile through the loneliness and the empty room you sit in all day. Everything you do becomes an act of emotion. And you feel like your eyes scream childhood when your living in a world with adults.

    You live each day like going on stage and getting fulfilment from watching the pain sift through it all. So pretty much, Im asking... any psychos out there or complete wackos as what society likes to label us?
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Can't say I feel exactly this way, but there are pieces that may ring true.
     
  3. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    how do you feel about it.
     
  4. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I am most definitely a psycho, although I actually only consider myself mildly psychotic, and only in a good way, but according to the very vast majority, if they'd know me better, I am totally psychotic and should be put away somewhere.

    I relate to a lot of what you said, although not the part about ever wanting to fit in. I would never want to fit in. Fitting in disgusts me. However, indeed; most, at times all I do becomes an act of emotion... at least if you mean that you're emotional about everything? I usually feel things about close to everything... I'm overwhelmed with thoughts and it almost drives me crazy, at times... or to a half-state of apathy. But I do want to have it that way. Why would I want to think less? Yes, it makes me unhappy, but I'm kind of happy with being unhappy, in regards to that... I could never choose to think less, just because it'd be easier for me. I can relate to the childhood part, as well... although I actually used to be reasonably happy as a child, which I never am now. Oh, by the way, I started thinking about what to become in my next life when I was eight or nine. :p Probably was when I was nine. Decided I would become a bird and checked bird books to find out what the most beautiful bird was. Just realized the existence of post "death" lives out of nowhere.

    Anyway, I indeed am a psycho, I proudly can admit. :smile: I'd like to say everything that occupies my mind but I'd better not, and some would get censored out by the moderators here, anyway.
     
  5. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    im a psycho according to the public. i dont care anymore though.
     
  6. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    Oh yes, I here you, I feel exactly the same, this is what I mean when I say that I want to be normal, though I do sometimes wonder if everyone else is actually as crazy as I am
     
  7. I feel the same way.

    I am attending college right now and all I hear is EVERYONE jeering at me. I try and shake it off, but there is always one thing said that makes me want to fall to the ground. It is as though they are looking into my childhood and seeing all that I have done, and are judging me for it.

    Also, does anybody else get feelings of burning something to the ground?
     
  8. Whoami111

    Whoami111 New Member

    I think I'm one
     
  9. gosgirl

    gosgirl New Member

    I try and shake it off, but there is always one thing said that makes me want to fall to the ground. It is as though they are looking into my childhood and seeing all that I have done, and are judging me for it.
     
  10. Alliance

    Alliance Well-Known Member

    Your post made me break out in tears, since parts of it hit pretty close to home.

    first time in months and months I've broke down like this.
     
  11. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    I think I'm psycho.

    But I don't want to be. I just want to be normal not different in any way. That way I might get the chance to be liked, loved, wanted, accepted.

    I'm tired of standing outside looking in.
     
  12. physician

    physician Well-Known Member

    i've been told that im psychopath :D
     
  13. alice_0

    alice_0 Active Member

    everything unfortunantly rings true for me, so i guess i am i psycho. not that im surprised. and sometimes i want to be normal, but does it ever seem like everyone else doesnt feel as deeply, and doesnt care the same way? i dont want to care less, and i dont want to be shallow like them, but is it worth the misery. i hope so...
     
  14. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Yea i get that vibe too. when im in my room alone just passing the days, it feels like ive gone through a battlefield and then when I enter college I put on this mask of content and the face where you just dont care what others will do. It really makes you wonder what is wrong with yourself. I feel like sometimes this misery has been engraved into my head. Im so used to it that the world where everyone is nice to everyone else is just hard to believe at times.

    Putting aside my fears...Im on the fence between even wanting a normal social life or just relying on dreams and fantasy to past my time in this life.

    Anyway, Im glad my words touched most of you deeply. Also sorry for making you burst in tears Alliance. I guess we can all feel a sense of connection as we all share psychotic thoughts.
     
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