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Practical Advice Any tips on making new friends?


On Satur(n)days we used to sleep
If you've ever come across one of my threads, you know by now im not the best at making friends or interacting with new people, wether it's real life or through a screen. This has caused me some trouble since i basically have no one to talk to when im feeling sad, hopeless or alone. Luckily im not feeling that way as often (at least not lately) but you know, those awful thoughts every once in a while come again to show their ugly faces and let you know they are still there. When that happens, the first thing that comes to mind is "i have to deal with this on my own again" and im honestly tired of it.
Sometimes i really need someone to just listen to me: i dont want advice, nor a scold, just someone who listens to me and cares about what im going through. But i suck at making friends, and obviously i'd need a very close friend to talk about these issues. What do you recommend? What would be a way to meet new people and start building up a close friendship from scratch? How to prevent them from leaving once they find out you're a depressive/sad person?
I already have a few friends who aren't quite close, so to speak, and i've never spoken about "serious" stuff with them: we mostly fool around and waste time together, so i dont know how to approach maybe one of them and start taking our friendship to another, more "compromised" level (?), maybe that's the reason why i'd give making new friends a shot, but i sincerely dont know what to do anymore...

Legate Lanius

Well-Known Member
Firstly, you must feel the way about them that you want them to feel about you. Do you want to hear them complain about stuff, do you want them to call you whenever they are lonely and need support? If you can feel and express that, then you should have an easy time in establishing that friendship.

I haven't had a friend in ten years, didn't really burn bridges or anything. I just don't miss people, I can't connect to others except in my mind when I reflect on people that I called friends (and at that point it's not the real person that I'm connecting to, obviously).

So, focus on being with them in the present moment and letting them know that you sincerely want them to lean on you for support.

Now, I wouldn't tell you to accept advice from random unemployed, drop-out, NEET, virgin, anime-watching, internet-browsing, videogame-playing man-children online, either. So it's a leap of faith.

Human Ex Machinae

Void Where Prohibited
If you want to make a new friend that you'd be comfortable talking about depression with, I guess the best place would be somewhere like a group therapy setting. If there's one place where you'd have a good chance of meeting someone like that, that would have to be it.


Recovering Alcoholic
SF Supporter
I stumbled onto a friend like that, I am very lucky to have him. I have 3 room mates and he is one of them. When he first moved in (he is a smoker) he would go outdoors to smoke and sometimes I would go out for a cigar and this is how we "met". We set up a table in the garage to set at and smoke and drink a little. Our friendship went to a different level on the anniversary of his daughter's accident when she died. I sympathized with him and comforted him and it opened up a safe place for him to cry. Since then we share everything, including suicide attempts. I think everyone has been or is at times suicidal and most people understand that although many simply deny that part of themselves.

If I was looking for a friend that I could talk to about anything I would start here. Message someone here and see if they want to be your friend. Eventually you could exchange numbers if that feels safe and talk on the phone. THe people here understand what you are going through. You can look in the "My Story" forum to find a story of someone that resonates with you and message them. I hope you find someone you can talk to

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