anybody else wonder this?

anybody else wonder what they are going to do with their lives once they are double the age they are now, does anyone think... what will i do in 10 years time, where will i be then?. and how do you cope with it when it turns in to a constant anxiety thinking about your future?

 

Yeah, like when I'm 60 I still don't want to be a loser and have accomplished nothing. I can only hope that I have things worked out long before that time, and that I can get my life back on track and do what I want to and maybe become happy.

 

well, good luck with that.

my main issue is not knowing what i want from life anymore anyway, so my future has become a thing to be anxious about in itself

it's 1 of those situations... only you can run your life, only you know what you want, but what if you don't?. what then

 

hey emily,

honestly, i used to wonder those things... but i stopped trying to figure it out because i found it only added more stress to my life, and stress is something i really need to control and keep at a bare minimum so as to keep deep depression and psychosis as far away as possible... this time of year its really impossible to keep deep depression away but i can keep most of the psychosis away if i manage my stress level. you may be wondering why it stressed me out... its simple, b/c once i have an image in my mind of what i'm going to be like/do at a specific time in the future, that becomes my goal and if i dont reach it, or find myself not succeeding at reaching that goal in a timely enough manner, i get overly stressed and i start getting down on myself.... so i have chosen to not do that anymore. if it gives your life more purpose though, i reccommend it ... just be sure to weigh out the stress lvl vs the purposeful life measure it gives you... dont do like i was and unintentionally stress/burden yourself!

 

with me, it's not so much purpose... in fact, i don't get any purpose from it, at all. with me, it's about anxiety and being stuck... i'm in my 20's, and have no plans for the future, no goals, nothing i want to acheeve, etc etc. not even sure what my interests are. so, it's a vicious circle really... you don't want to think about it, but, you do anyway- because it bothers you so much not knowing what you want for your own future, and i've always said, once you get beyond not knowing what you even want yourself, then you know you're in trouble

it's also why i've thought so much about suicide, well, their's that anxiety about the future, but i've been through so much all ready- both mentally and in a physical sense

i'll shut up now- i'm sure you all have far more important threads to read than mine- just this site's been closed, so i've had no where to rant (cruelty!)

 

Emily, every thread is important.

I'm 55 and don't expect to live past 65. All my life, I thought I had time to get my shit together and do something with my life. That never happened. Now, I'm done. I guess I feel a little bit of peace knowing I don't have to worry anymore. The next 10 years will be just getting through it so it can be over. It's a relief, really.

Byste

 

Lets face it living with mental health issues is tough, but every day there is those breif moments of calm where the pain and anxiety leave for a sec. All we can hope for is that these moments get longer and more frequent. I don't care what im going to be doing in 10 years its 10 years away. I look ahead to tomorrow and figure out what I can do to bring more of those calm moments. What more can we hope for. Embrace each day and hope for the best. I know hope is not something that comes easy to us but its all we have. Try watching a Disney film to remind you what hope and destiny mean but not bambi definitely not bambi that will send you the other way

 

we're 2 opposittes, it seems

with me if i was your age and still hadn't done anything with my life, i'd be so... i dunno... upset about it?

it's always been my biggest anxiety- to grow up to be like 55 or 60, and have nothing to show for it- nothing at all.

but i suppose that's the way it's going to be... only you can take charge of your own life, and if you feel you've lost that ability, what's left?

if someone asked me now what do you have in your life of any value, i'd seriously struggle to think of anything- i just read another thread on here asking for positives of the day, and all i could come up with was eating toast (like i do every day, same time of the morning). their's nothing positive about the rest of the day.... struggling beyond struggling just watching another day pass you by, minit by minit, hour by hour

 

no, of all the issues and worries people share here, this is one of the very few i can say i do not share. i do not think of the future, because i know i do not have one. forget being twice my age, i have serious doubts i will last to the end of this year (less than a month now). and that is exactly how i want it to be.

 

i have hopes and a plan for my future.... my biggest fear, however, is that when i think if the future i speak like it will happen.... then i assume that i am going to survive

that is like taking away the choice of suicide

that terrifies the living shit out of me

 

Hi Emily,
I am, I'm guessing somewhere in the middle on the age front, 47 and I've never known what I wanted from life so just bounced along enjoying some times and not enjoying others. Now though I am here feeling hopeless and without friends or a job, neither of which should be difficult to achieve considering I have worked all my life and have always been known as a comical/friendly type of bloke with stacks of pals. So why now? I can only think of one thing I have always cherished and dreamed of and that was a wonderful relationship with a soul mate, nothing else not £millions/Flash car/Massive house/CEO of a company, this now seems to be the catalyst for my hopelessness - Do I want to look for a job (Can't be bothered either way) Do I want lots of friends (Not bothered) Am I honestly fussed about living (Not bothered if it's alone). That's enough of my waffle, just wanted to give you an insight.

Just remember though that you don't have to want anything from life, there is no law that says Emily you have to want this or that and if you don't then you are doomed, anything (however painful) that has happened in the past is simply that, in the past and you/we can't change that just as none of us know what the future holds, we can all say "In 10 years I'm going to have done this or been there" but truth is NOBODY can guarantee that anyway so don't beat yourself up over it. Just try and find something that you enjoy doing, anything at all small or large - hey even replying to me or not

 

hi grayam,

interesting post- thanks for your insights

i think for me, it's a vicious circle- my biggist anxiety (if you can call it that) is having my life end, with nothing to show for it- so, i want to look back and say... hey, i did this, and i did that- i found happyness, and made the most of things.... i enjoyed life. but then, how can i enjoy life, find happyness, and just go along with it (as you seemed to do), when i don't even know what i want anymore,what goals i have, what i'd like to do, etc. it's a vicious circle... only you can control your own life, only you can answer your own questions- and when you can't do that, when you feel like you've lost the ability to do that, then what?

sure i could probably just go with it, live life as i'm doing (with no improvement, no excitement, no reason to live) but why would i want to do that?

what's a life when you feel you're not living- only existing. but then, how can i live when i don't know what i want...

xxx

 

The thought of who or what I'll be in the future is so terrifying for me. D:
I don't know why, I just can't envision it or anything, though I always hope it's something useful to everyone else at the very least.

 

I rarely think about the future recently. I used to think about it all the time and worry and stress about it. Now I just think "In the next couple of weeks/months.." I'm in my 20's and I feel incredibly stuck. I just hope honestly 20 years from now, that I'm still alive.

 

Guys, we all seem to be caught up in the concept that we have to have this great plan of what or who we have to be by a certain time, we don't. I've only ever known one person who has vowed to be something and won't rest until she's there and you know what? She's not happy because it's become "I have to get there" at the cost of losing friends, fun times etc. Everyone else I've known, no idea in the world what they want .. So gang we are in the massive majority who when we die (hopefully many many years in the future, especially you young'uns) will have achieved roughly the same as anyone else. Greatest achievements are to help others and to smile both cost not a penny. Emily and others you've helped me, without you I wouldn't be writing these words and enjoying doing it. So thank you and your prize is..... Big drum roll...... You can feel good and have a big smile cos you've achieved something. You didn't plan to make me feel good but you all did - who needs plans eh? xx

 

and, this is exactly why this sort of debate can go on for ages

in my view, their's 2 types of people in the world- the people that live life care free, not really caring what happens to them, then their's the people who are so anxious to get things done and move ahead, that they are not satisfied with life as it is. i'm somewhere in that category, i'm not satisfied with how things are going, not at all- and yeah, people will say.. well if you don't like life, then do something about it- but what. what do i do to like life. that is my question. 1 of many.

 

Lots of people say you should have done this or done that Graeme, and they're probably right but to do it you Have to 1, want to and 2, really have an interest in what you want. If someone says "the only way to be rich is to work in finance (example), then I'm resigned to being poor cos the financial world bores the living daylights out of me. So to like live I think we have to locate that thing or things that interest us first. I'm feeling better talking to you on hear cos I enjoy the interaction and conversion (you on the other hand may not or may) yet outside of here I'm all alone and without friends except the cat and I'm sure he's just using me to supply his food

 

with me, i don't have any friends in real life either- so coming on these forums is nice (though, sometimes i wonder ) if people actually do like and care about me, or just post to my threads because it's a support forum (i know, weird thing.. but it comes from never really having friends!)

i've always seen myself as just another username on a screen. if i couldn't get on here for what ever reason, i wonder who down the line would actually post on here... i wonder what happened to such and such?

but yes, i do enjoy talking to you. it's an experience i'm still getting used too.. actually talking to someone

 

If I start comparing my life to "normal" people, I would be so depressed. I have lots of regrets in my life and just recently have I started to get my life back together. It starts with applying coping skills to keep me stable and monitoring my meds and how they affect me. It seems my meds are working right now. Fighting and dealing with my severe mental illness has been a battle half of my life and I know that my perception of this world is different than "other" people. I try to keep my life as simple and stress-free as much as I can to keep my anxiety down. I also have to count my blessings and look at all the achievements I have accomplished-whether big or small. Appreciate the simplest things in life and stay positive, as hard as it may seem. Keeping these things in mind can help boost your outlook on your future. Just don't think too far into the future. Take things in stride. Give yourself credit for everything you do and seek help when needed, like here, if needed. Hope that helps...

 

Totally agree Emily with you on the do people really care and tbh someone else would fill our space on here. People like to talk and it doesn't normally matter who it is to, so yeah if we left here someone else would just fill the void, after all we are all just a combination of letters.
Today though I'm feeling pretty low, no specific reason but does there have to be, so I thought I'd pop by and see whats going on.