Anybody ever feel triggered by the therapist?

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by downunder, Jul 1, 2009.

  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    My daughter died a couple of years ago, suicide. Work sent me off to see a shrink so I could get back to full duties. I have been feeling very suicidal myself, grief issues and being bullied at work, I was also harassed by the media at the time of her death. I am below average in the looks department and have always been picked on about it. My brother would always say to me, you are the type of person nobody really likes etc.

    I have always felt that I never belong. I have people at work that say hello to me and chat and laugh with me, but it never goes any further than that.

    I compete in a sport, and needed someone to help me with driving to get to the next competition, no one wanted to help me. I was really looking forward to it, and the next comp isn't until October!!! One lady was in the way, while I was at practice, and stopped me from being able to perform, I asked her to move, she said no, so I had to go home, as I couldn't do anymore with her in the way. We had voting for an award, and I think even though in my sport I perform very well and rarely make a mistake, I got no votes, but other people did who make lots of mistakes did get votes.

    So you can imagine a feeling of "nobody likes me, nobody wants to help" etc.

    Now the shrink is saying things to me like, "you don't have to come and see me", "would you like to see someone else", "i don't need your (employer's name) money". Then on the other hand she says "If your work stops funding you, you can still come and see me, and I will bulk bill you (means, I don't have to pay, medicare pays for it). Then right after last appointment she says "you don't have to come and see me", she then says she has concerns about me, and would like to see me the next week and then make it fornightly appointments. I so do not understand what she is going on about. But it is really making me feel like crap. She has also said going to hospital would not help me.

    I am so confused, what she is going on about???
     
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    That would be discomforting to hear those words I could imagine. Maybe you want to look for another therapist if she is making you feel this way.
    Originally when I read the title to this I thought that it might be because you were working on certain things that brought up emotions and you felt triggered when you went to see her. But this sounds like she, herself, is making you feel uncomfortable. That's not going to help you very much.

    If it keeps happening, maybe look for someone else :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would defininetly ask your therapist why she is saying these things. Is there a point to asking you this question What is the point to her discussions. Tell her she is making you feel like crap like you don't have a clue what the hell she is talking about. If she cannot explain then i would try to see if you could get another therapist who you feel more comfortable with. I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter You need compassion and understanding and i hope you find someone who can give you skills to keep on survivng. You deserve to have compassion not confusion and bewilderment.
     
  4. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    It sounds tome that she wants to help you but doesn't think you are responding to her. Maybe she thinks someone else could help you more. Do you open up to her?

    Lea x x
     
  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Yeah, one day she was particularly hard on me so I lied (told her I'd gotten on with another therapist as we'd discussed) and canceled my next session and never spoke to her again.
     
  6. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Like Leiaha, I'm wondering whether she's said these things in response to things you've said (or not said)? It might be that if she feels you're not working with her that there's no point you being there. However, on other occasions she can see you need help. But if you feel she's giving out mixed messages which are making you uncomfortable, I can only suggest that you talk to her about it.

    And on the subject of hospital... how do YOU think that it will help, assuming you do?
     
  7. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    My husband actually rang her and talked to her. She then said to me that she expected to be seeing me for 2 years!!!!!!!!!! So why does she keep on with this crap?? When she sent me to one of her colleagues when she was away I only went once because she played silence games.

    I will wait till she says again and ask her what she means by it.
     
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    she sounds messed up to be honest. there are a lot of therapists with huge personal issues working in the field (i have met many of them). i'd be as confused and upset and like WTF as you are.

    ask her what she's on about and most of all, tell her how her behaviour is unacceptable , confusing and she has a responsibility to communicate clearly to you and not mess with your mind.
     
  9. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    if she says she is concerned about you and wants to see you more frequently,then she does care.I hope you feel comfortable opening up to her as it seems it is what she wants.Trust is the most important factor in therapy.
     
  10. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I have opened up and practically told her everything. I think I agree with gggg4567.
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would ask her if there is a reason for all this unclarity and if you are still uncomfortable with her ask if there is another therapist she can refer you too. It takes awhile to get right therapist sometimes people just don't click