Anybody have suicidal feelings that come and go like every 5 months?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by stealth, Oct 16, 2007.

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  1. stealth

    stealth Member

    Because Im starting to notice a really awkward pattern in my life...........for 4 to 5 or even 6 months Ill fall into this hopeless pit where I lose friends, self esteem,and pretty much seem not to care about anything, and watch everything fall apart around me.
    However, something always happens to me to where I suddenly come out of it and am feeling myself again. Full of life, energy, confidence ..........and things are going great. Ill have great social skills, making friends without even trying and will simply be in love with life.............but something always happens that causes me to fall into this pit of confusion, hopelessness, "crying", and misery again............I cant take it anymore!!!:rant: the inconsistency is driving me crazy ........I never know when Im going to feel like myself again or not. Nothing is ever permanent! Which means I also lose many jobs, friends, stop doing things i love............then always start over again, I can never just consistently keep moving forward..........whenever I start to feel on top something always slams me to the bottom. And the weirdest part of it all, is that I literally can feel the transistion in my brain as I start to change, like something wrapping around my brain that causes me to feel like its pressurized or something, I cant really explain it.
    However, when Im not bi-polar my neurologist says because of the symptoms I experience when I fall into this phase.......hot cold chills, sweating, all muscles tense up ......i literally feel like parts of my lower brain crackle when i move my head suddenly......i mean its really messed up.....................and once again, somewhere down the line all of the negative symptoms will be instantly alleviated within a second out of nowhere. And I have no idea how...........then I start to feel great, energetic and creative, literally the opposite effect!!!! anyone ever experience anything like this continuously?!?!? because I'm a 23 year old male, and I truely love my family..........but I dont know if i can go on living my life riding this roller coaster that never seems to keep climbing and then falling again............anybody? anything? :eek:hmy:
     
  2. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    I very much relate to your description of mood swings, where elation and desperation are only separated by the surface tension of pleasure and pain...

    Classic symptoms of bipolar disorder, at the first glance. However, there maybe a neurological cause, especially as you seem to physically feel the shift from brightness to the darkness and visa versa. Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is increasingly common amongst adults as is an overactive thyroid.

    I would consult your neurologist again and ask for reassurance that your symptoms (definitely) not have a physical cause. Maybe some Cat-scans and/or MRI scans may exclude this avenue as a possible cause.

    I think, eliminating the obvious will lead eventually towards a possible explanation and diagnosis.

    Disclaimer:
    I am not qualified of giving any medical advise. So please treat my suggestions as a starting point of your own investigations.


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    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 16, 2007
  3. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I relate to that alot, ya. But, for me I'd say its less than a few months. Maybe a few weeks for me.
     
  4. Heather

    Heather Member

    that does sound alot like bipolar
     
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