...of being told to suck it up, stop being dramatic, just get through today or just plain ignored! I am not crazy, I am not being dramatic..I am hurting, misunderstood, scared, feel alone (despite family and children)........my story is complicated but my conclusion is both frightening and comforting at the same time. I want to be free, I want to go home...but I don't want to leave my daughter in the hands of the sociopath I married and am divorcing who adopted her after the love of my life died at the age of 43. I have no friends because my husband used isolation as a means of control. My long-time therapist keeps telling me the same, non-productive things, friends that I am reconnecting with don't understand, are married and have their own life, if I tell my doctor he will put me in a psych ward and that will negatively affect my fight for my daughter...I have to be strong for her, so I wait until she is asleep and then go outside and sob - when I sleep I have nightmares - my heart feels like it is going to explode from my chest - i have never known such pain was possible on an emotional level and I have no one to talk to that doesn't give me some well meaning but totally ineffective response or response that only serves to make me feel even more trapped in a life that is full of regret, guilt, fear, sadness, etc. Does any of this make sense to anyone? I'm scared. I'm alone. I'm tired. - Oh that I had wings like a bird, then I would fly away, I would fly far away into the wilderness and rest, I would fly away from this wild storm of hatred.