Anyone abused by a same-sex partner?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by kurenai, Jun 18, 2009.

  1. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone, I'm new here... I was wondering if anyone has been abused by a partner of the same sex. Sorry to trigger any unpleasant memories, but I don't have anyone to talk to about my situation. I am female, and my girlfriend has been abusive for several years. I have no financial means to leave, no one will help me. I was disowned by my family for being gay so I can't talk to them either.

    Any advice or suggestions?
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I've personally never been abused, but there is help out there.

    Not sure where you are but there are many places that help people with abusive partners.

    And I'm so sorry to hear that your family disowned you! :sad: That's one of the reasons I'm scared of coming out.
  3. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the quick reply, bcs! I tried calling an abuse hotline looking for services, but I was in a really messed up/psychotic state and they called the police on me to take me to a mental hospital, which didn't really help. The hotline guy said "don't worry about the money", but the hospital is REALLY expensive and I hope the insurance pays for it. So now I'm really afraid to contact any services.
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well you don't sound to be in such a state now.

    Maybe you should try calling again and plan out what you're going to say to make sure it goes smoothly? What they did sounds pretty extreme.

    That's all I can really think of at the moment, I'm kinda bad at giving advice...
  5. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend


    I was abused, then raped, by my ex-girlfriend. The rape was the last thing that happened, and I freaked out. I grabbed my cat and ran out the door when she'd left the room (the bedroom had a door going to the outside). I ran to my friends' house and they didn't believe me, even though they, too, had an abusive relationship going on. I called the police. They mocked me severely. They did take her in, but let her loose almost immediately. It was only enough time for me to get home, get some things, and leave the house and get away from her.

    Of course this set me off on all kinds of other issues.

    Especially with women, I think, people are inclined to disbelieve that anything like this can happen. I'm so sorry it's happened to you. Oddly, I've known plenty of women in lesbian communities who are also abused, but no one talks about it. It goes against all feminist ideals. It's like the dirty, sordid skeleton in our closets. And even the cops won't believe it unless you have severe injury. (I'm not sure even then they would, to be honest, they don't even like getting involved in straight "domestic" issues.)

    The absolutely only thing I can recommend is to get ahold of a woman's support shelter and try and get help through them to escape. Generally these women are less skeptical than the whole of the rest of the world. Some of them may even have been through it. They usually have shelters, and can help you get back on your feet alone!

    Good luck and again I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. :hug:
  6. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Brighid Moon, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you're in a much better situation now. I'll think about the shelter option, but I definitely need to save up to rent a room, they're pretty cheap in my area.