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Anyone else beyond caring?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pogosticker, Mar 5, 2012.

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  1. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    My life is good now, but I just want out and I'm not even sure why. I'm not upset, I just have the urge to take an effective OD and end it all.

    I just feel numb and empty. I don't know what it will take for me to be truly happy.

    I've been struggling with my sexuality for years, but I've come to the realization that I'm asexual. I don't want to be with a man or a woman. I don't want sex. It just makes me feel dirty.

    I'm thinking of turning to drugs to try to find something to distract me or whatever. Just to feel something.

    I don't know, I bet I'm just rambling about nothing. I just have no will to live, and couldn't care less about any of it. Maybe that's just my depression talking.. I think I've been happy lately, but today I had a messed up experience that I think reignited my depression, if that's what's going on here.

    djhdsdshdjfgdhhvgrhsdfgsrifghbekhszrgvsfx i just had the urge to do that. odhfshgv z ,fgm v
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    A wise person has told me that depression is anger turned inward, and repressed. I can relate to that, because when I used to be depressed it was because I was angry. I was angry at the fact that this life made no sense to me. I was tired of feeling confused and tired of feeling helpless so I became angry. Which I repressed and turned inwards: thus making me depressed.
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I am glad you are feeling a little better, but you are still struggling. Sex/ desire/ lust: people confuse this with love, because that is what we are taught through the media, and past generations that love is, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Love is understanding, kind, accepting, patient, long suffering, gentle. True love lasts, lust fades with the realization people make when they finally see the person for who they are and don't care anymore.
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Lust is sickening and dirty. Sex when done in love is actually fulfilling and wonderful. So I agree with you in that respect. Someday you will find true love and when you do; you"ll know it.
  5. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    Very little holds me to this life. A Handful of people I do not want to hurt by leaving. I can almost count the number on one of my hands. I understand the asexual feeling. I am a guy but I am not interested in dealing with people to be in a relationship.
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