Anyone else burdened with a high IQ

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A loser, Mar 1, 2010.

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  1. A loser

    A loser Well-Known Member

    As a child my IQ was measured as over 160 (the test did not go higher) by a psychiatrist. While this might sound like a gift it has actually proven a great hinderance. People usually equate a high IQ with high achievement, while this is true for some people, it is not always the case. I feel far worse about my life knowing that I have wasted such great potential. I feel I had the ability to achieve so much, but failed to even come close to my goals.
     
  2. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    Are you in Mensa ?
     
  3. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    did you feel like this before your injury? from what i gather, you were doing very well. if it is just your injury that has stopped you achieving your goals right now, who is to say your situation wont change? you are only 22 :smile:
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Your life is not over. You can achieve the things you wanted to achieve. What were/are those goals?
     
  5. A loser

    A loser Well-Known Member

    No, I did belong to another high IQ society for a period of time. I have not attempted to join Mensa before.

    I had a strong mathematical ability from an early age. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I found schoolwork very easy. I found university very straightforward at first but I have to admit my mental problems (bipolar) kicked in at university before my injury. I was very disillusioned with the course. I was on course for a first in physics before I dropped out. I feel I have lost my mathematical ability now.
     
  6. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    you just need to keep positive. its so hard i know but maybe your injury and depression has just screwed your confidence. i dont believe you can lose a quality you have. do you ever forget how to ride a bike? no, you just have to keep practicing
     
  7. Monsieur

    Monsieur Well-Known Member

    I can testify to this. My IQ probably isn't high as yours, however it was enough for me to be identified as highly gifted (whatever the hell that's worth) back in elementary school. I still remember the last day of sixth grade when my teacher knelt beside me and told me that I'd go far in life. Well, what a nosedive that's been.

    That stigma and label of being gifted has haunted me ever since. The expectations, the hopes, the dreams, the decline, the confusion, the disappointment. And finally at the very end, the very label of giftedness is challenged and lost. A core name in which I had been ingrained with at an early age is ripped from my failing identity.

    Guess all that's left are the questions, like vultures, to pick off the already fallen corpse. The regretful questions you know? The "what if", the "should of", the "could of been...". And last but not least, the cognizance and introspective qualities we retain only allows us to further criticize our failings in even more detail and scrutiny.

    Sometimes I wish I was just a goddamn vegetable. At least then, the word "potential" can escape my mind. At least then, perhaps the regret of never being able to obtain what seemed to have been mandated as a gift can be removed entirely. But now, that gift remains unopened and out of reach from my broken and disillusioned mind.

    Cheers, a toast to the rest of our doleful and disheartened brothers and sisters!

    ~Monsieur
     
  8. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    the thing is that IQ has nothing to do with life...its only good in terms of study but living life is harder than that...

    I have a higher IQ than normal, but I rarely studied, still I would get normal grades 75% average...I was abused and neglected and so I developed my instinctive survival skills but really I haven't learned to live, only to survive...

    IQ shouldnt be praised, its an acute skill that facilitates learning...its not the best thing in the world...normal people can do extraordinary things and they dont have a high IQ...
     
  9. greencow117

    greencow117 New Member

    Hello. I'm one of those who hovers about the forums but never posts since I doubt my ability to help or be helped. I've read all your posts and it would seem that I am in a somewhat similar situation to yours (though I seem to be more fortunate), so let me venture to make a (rather long) reply.

    I've never had any intelligence testing done on me, but when I was 8 I did manage to solve 3 simultaneous equations with 3 unknowns using simple algebra 2 years before I was taught anything about equations. I also found school work incredibly easy and aced everything without effort and found myself waltzing into Imperial College with the intent of doing a degree in Mathematical Physics (though I have sort of switched to pure maths). I mention this only because in your previous posts you mentioned being in London as well as studying the sciences.

    If you were studying at some other university then I suppose I cannot say much, but I too have become disillusioned with tertiary education as a whole (and judging from what my friends say, Imperial is a particularly nasty case). The way they teach (at least in the Maths department) is uninspired and the content of the courses is sleep inducing (bloody stats and boring algorithms being compulsory even in the second year), and the focus being on examinations rather than fostering genuine mathematical creativity. The content that is interesting is basic and can be easily learned from books or online lecture notes, and the endless problem sheets are dull and dreary.

    I decided that my life needed a new direction and began writing a novella and composing music, and though I am far from being a significant rival to Shakespeare, Orwell, Poe, Beethoven or Mozart (my favourites), it has given me some significant degree of joy. I have always been interested in philosophy as well (the life-affirming Nietzsche was a great help to me) and have decided to starting writing in this area as well; and I know for a fact that out of all the sciences, the physicists and mathematicians are most likely to be interested in philosophy - perhaps that is another possible change of direction, especially since philosophy is about fleshing out conceptual thought (usually) without involving mathematics.

    I know I should not presume to know enough about your situation to comment, but perhaps it might be time for you to leave your mathematical interests behind (though you can obviously always revisit them any time you want) to expand your horizons into other interests? Forgive me if I have been too presumptuous.

    I myself am currently in the process of dropping out, and frankly, I think it'll do me a world of good (though it's probably the grandiose optimism of a manic episode speaking). A friend of mine once met a taxi driver who was in fact a Chemical Engineering drop-out who left university to study Shakespeare - a silly objective in my mind, since I prefer to create my own works, but he said he was happy enough. I know that many think that completing a degree is the first step to great achievement, but I tend to disagree - the great Einstein himself managed to publish his 1905 Annus Mirabilis papers whilst working in a bloody Patent Office without ready access to the relevant materials (or so I am led to believe). So just ignore what society expects of you and go for what you want. Heck, I doubt Einstein would have got anywhere if he listened to the aether lobby and stuck to Newtonian mechanics ;P.

    That's all I can think of to say at the moment. I know I am not in much of a position to truly empathise with your condition, but if it is any help at all, please do not hesitate to contact me at theidiot117@hotmail.com (however due to my present circumstances, I will probably not be available until around March 7th). I apologise in advance if I seem like a cold and distant antisocial jerk because I am one.

    Hope this helped.
     
  10. charmane

    charmane Well-Known Member

    My son has an IQ (recently measured at 156> I have come to this forum to try to understand why he attempted to kill himself last fall and why he can't seem to get anywhere at all in his life. Every aspect of his life, academic, social, work is a complete disaster right now. He doesn't have a job, he has dropped out of school numerous times, and he has gotten rid of almost all his friends. He drinks constantly and just lays around the house. He is 23, and he has never really had a job or a girlfriend (and he is very good-looking).

    He is constantly saying that he wishes he had an average IQ because then he feels he could function in the world. For some reason, he just has never been able to do this. He no longer has any goals - he says he will just work in a little cublicle and make a substinance wage for the rest of his life. But, most days he acts as if his life will be very short because he can't accept his fate. The thing is, in spite of so much support and love, he won't do anything to change his circumstances.

    He is almost impossible to live with. He destroys things around the house, does so much damage, he is surly and sarcastic, viscious to his siblings, nasty to his father and I, accusing, and lazy. He insists on being around the family and then showing us how unhappy he is 24/7. It's like there is no break from all his sadness and misery but he stopped seeing his doctor and he refuses to take meds (it's a crock). This has cast such on pall on all of us (he has three siblings). It just feels all the time like something is broken that can't be fixed. It is scary to see how down he is and he often talks about ending his life which terrifies us all.

    I just don't know why someone with so much intelligence is so unable to think clearly when it comes to his own life. I don't know if you are the same way but in my experience depressed and anxious people are usually smarter than the average bear. He describes not being able to shut down his thoughts and his thoughts torture him. Maybe you can help me understand or give me some thoughts on this - I wish you peace and hope in your life. Know that it is creative and gifted individuals that have so much to offer to the world - you just have to be able to channel it the right way.
     
  11. frankie626

    frankie626 Active Member

    are u left handed? there is a connection with lefties having higher IQ's.. and also lefties with depression.. had something to do with the way our brains are wired.. pretty interesting stuff
     
  12. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    I've never had my IQ tested, but I am sure it is not as high as yours. However, I can relate to some of what you are saying. Growing up school was always easy for me, and there were such high expectations from my parents, my teachers, and even myself. I literally just wrote this in my journal yesterday:

    "I feel guilty, but I'm also kind of angry. I was young, it wasn't my fault. In highschool I needed to be THE BEST at everything academic. My parents convinced young impressionable me that school was THE ONLY AND MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world. When I was in 9th grade they wouldn't let me take chorus with my friends.. I had to take a computer programming class that wasn't even supposed to take freshman, I had to weasel my way in. And that basically set the precedent for the rest of high school. Everything i did was in the context of building that stupid resume and getting good grades and cramming for SATs (I took them for the first time when I was 11) and stupid summer science camps. If I went to any of the easier colleges that gave me scholarships, my parents would have read that as me being lazy.. I had to go to THE HARDEST school I could get into. Absolutely everything else in life got put on hold for me to get into that school. I always thought that if I listened to my parents and did well in school and became a stupid engineer just like them that everything would be okay. But its not. I feel angry and cheated. "

    I don't know if you can relate to that at all - but I feel like all too often, kids who do well at school are disillusioned into thinking that academic things are the be-all-end-all, you know? My parents were both engineers - so naturally, I did my degree in chemical engineering. I remember in middle school, I *loved* reading and writing, but my parents basically told me it was a waste of time, so I stopped. I didn't invest much time in my social life, I never dated, never went to a football game in high school... I was told it was irrelevant and that my scholastic success is what would make me happy. Needless to say, it didn't, I'm 22 and actively planning my suicide.

    Honestly, if I had another chance, I would go back in time and pretend that I was average or below average. I would live my life like a normal kid. I would read silly middle-school-girl books, not because they contributed to my intellect, but because they were fun.

    Advice-wise... I honestly don't know what to do from here. Maybe a change of pace in your life would help? After I graduated undergrad, I spent the summer reading & writing poetry & working a job where I got to teach and play with children. My parents told me it was a waste of time, but were okay with it since I was starting a masters program in the fall...... but I'm not gonna lie. That summer was probably the happiest summer of my life. Is there anything that used to interest you as a child, before it got discouraged by all the 'intellect' crap?

    I wish you well. pm me if you ever want to chat.
     
  13. charmane

    charmane Well-Known Member

    Frankie,

    My son is left-handed. He has always been "wired" different since he was born. He was told that he has a very unique learning style. He "floods" information. When learning something, he might not grasp it at first the quickest but if he keeps reading or studying it - it all unlocks in his brain at once - like a flood. He learned to read this way. Went from Dr. Suess to full chapter books in less than a week. The schools and his teachers never knew what to do with him. He also learned higher math this way. Once he got exposed to enough of the concepts - boom - he could just do the whole course work and then he was done with it and bored again. So, most classes only hold his interest for a short amount of time and then he is bored again and tuning out. It's why in spite of his intellect he was always a very mediocre student with a very low frustation threshold.
     
  14. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I was tested in my high 130's, which is considered brilliant, and yes, I do feel like the world is so stupid. I cant bring myself mentally down to the same level of my coworkers, friends, family, etc, and it has affected my life. I am a super quiet, really polite and nice guy in real life because of it. I really do think that it has affected me in the sense that I cant seem to date women. I come off as being a brainiac, and that seems to turn women off.

    Dont get me wrong, my friends and family really seem to come to me a lot when they want an answer to something. I have had a lot of friends, and all that, so I am not the typical "nerd". But still, I suffer every day in my own loneliness, and feelings that I am almost too smart for my own good.

    As they say, "ignorance is bliss". I sometimes wish I was ignorant.
     
  15. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    Sounds exactly like me!

     
  16. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    When I was six my I.Q. was tested at 156, it left me with a real superiority complex that I still am not completly over. I find myself extremly frustrated by people who are considered normal, but I consider stupid. For me world events, politics, things like that really set me off.
     
  17. charmane

    charmane Well-Known Member

    We always were very honest with my son about his high IQ. He seemed to know he was different when he went to school and he was very concerned with why. He demanded to know why he was being tested or treated differently from the other kids. He was diagnosed as "highly gifted" but also "learning disabled" because he was dyslexic. I was told there was nothing worse than that combination and it turned out to be so true. He had a superiority complex and an inferiority complex all at once. Talk about being confused about your identity.

    The schools he went to were only focusing on the deficits - the things he had trouble with and they did not help out at all with the extremely high IQ. He has since overcome the dyslexia - but he never got over being so misunderstood and labeled in school. I am wondering if anyone else here has been diagnosed with ADD? It seems like so many gifted kids end up with that diagnosis and to be honest it totally fits in my son's case. But, to him, it's just another label that he doesn't want to accept or deal with.
     
  18. charmane

    charmane Well-Known Member

    Jacob,

    I don't know why, but it's a comfort to hear you say that. My son spent so much time "dumbing down" so he could fit in with his peers that it just made a mess of his life. I wish he could have met someone like you that could have said "Sounds exactly like me!" He spent so much time feeling so alone or worse yet - compromising who and what he was for a little acceptance from other kids or even teachers.

    The hell of the whole thing is - he wasn't accepted in the gifted program because of his dyslexia and dysgraphia in 2nd grade but they were more than willing to put him in special ed track because they get a lot of extra money for kids in these programs. I was supposed to put him in special ed classes after he tested at 156>. I couldn't believe it. I spent so much time fighting with schools and we changed several times. Both public and private - they were all bad. I homeschooled for a year but that really made him feel set aside. Couldn't win - didn't have enough money for what he really needed. Now, we pay the price because he is so despondent, lonely and he has given up on people and institutions.
     
  19. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Sorry to hear about your son, I never had a problem with ADD but my school and my doctors immediately thought I had asperger's syndrome, which is a very high function form of autism, on the sole basis of a high I.Q. and little to no social interaction with my peers. Luckily I didn’t have any neurological problems besides bad hand written, so the diagnosis didn’t stand but the school immediately tried to give me a label.
     
  20. charmane

    charmane Well-Known Member

    That's what happens in school. So many labels. When I was kid - it was just good kids, bad kids, weird kids, nerdy kids, brains, whatever. There weren't all these diagnoses and labels that kids have to carry with them forever both in their "jacket" and in their heads.

    I have two nephews with the Asperger's diagnosis. I will tell you - one is actually not Aspergers but he is much farther on the autistic spectrum. He will sit and rock and pull his hair out by the roots until his scalp bleeds. The other one is a very gifted artist. He has that typical tempermental artist personality and he is just like his mom (my sister). I told her " you can't see it but he is just like you when you were a kid." We didn't call her Aspergers - just a brat that wanted her own way. She is a very gifted artist as well.

    I work in the schools and they will hand me a class list and more than half the kids have asterisks after their names with all the initials (ADD, LD, EI, CI, Autistic, Aspergers, MI etc.). Add that to all the allergies (one kid was allergic to wood) and the physical ailments like asthma, diabetes, crohn's, IBS, heart disease, CP etc. and it is overwhelming trying to worry about everyone and how to deal with all the individual needs and possibilities for disaster in a classroom. Everybody has a label, an IEP, and a report from the school nurse. We keep multiple Epi-Pens, and medical supplies in case of an emergency. I don't know where all this comes from. When I went to school I can remember one girl who was allergic to peanut butter. But, she loved it and would often bring it to school. She would eat it and her lips would swell and she would get spots. We thought it was so cool! LOL.

    I know that everybody's is different and we have to address kids with special needs. But, I don't believe that all of sudden we have so many kids that need special accomodations and all these labels. It seems that every parent wants to get special attention and exceptions for their kids now. The thing is - when you go to get a job you won't be wearing a sign that says ADD on it.
     
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