Anyone else feel guilty for being depressed?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by jas, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. jas

    jas Member

    On these forums I have read about the incredible hardships that many members are going through or have experienced. Recently it has made me reflect on my own depression and question whether I have genuine reasons for feeling the way I do, which I don't.

    I have not experienced anything particulary traumatic, I do not have a debilitating medical condition and I have a loving family. My problems are in all honestly insignificant.

    I am aware that depression is a horrible, crippling disease but I feel guilty for having it. In a twisted sense, I feel that I can't justify my depression and amount of suffering.

    Anyone else feel like this?
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I've often thought about this - and empathise with everything that you write. I posted a vid to my youtube channel about this which I can't post on this forum...but essentially my view is that - an illness does not choose - and neither did you choose the illness - so to find fault with oneself where no blame can be reasonably attached is entirely self-defeating and not needed.

    Hope that helps,
    Much love,
  3. Iceh

    Iceh Member

    I often thought this, but after reading through a few forums and such about the topic I felt a it better. Because basically if your feeling depressed there's probably a few reasons why you are, and what ever they are it doesn't matter because at the end of the day its not a competition of who has the biggest problems, if it matters to you that's all that matters.

    I mean the kid who had both parents die could say to the kid with only 1 parent dead to stop whining and be glad the other ones still there. But that would never happen, because its not a competition !

    So yea, if it matters to you that's all that's important !
    Try not to feel to guilty
    Hope this helped :)
  4. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    Yes, I feel a little guilty and I have so far kept quiet about my depression except for here of course. I think it should be obvious to everyone else but no one really sees it in me. Anyway I have a great life and am aware most people in the world would kill for what I have. I have been to third world countries and seen first hand some of the things they go through. I have none of these problems, on paper I have the perfect life. I have a loving family, my health, money, a nice house, but none of it matters to me. I still wish I could live a different life if I only could be happy.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    There are times when depression comes on for no reason this is caused by chemical inbalance in the brain Medication can treat that if there is a cause therapy can help hun What said is correct your illness is just that and it is not a competition depression hits everyone
  6. Mirikun

    Mirikun Well-Known Member

    I definitely feel this way!

    Every time I think about my family, for example, I end up crying because they've been so good to me and I've still ended up this way... And then when I go to therapy I also feel guilty for taking up their time. I worry that I'm just making a big fuss about nothing and wonder if I should(/could) just pull myself together and get on with my life.

    I also haven't experienced anything very traumatic other than the usual having a few problems with friends abandoning me when I was younger at school. In a way, this makes me feel especially guilty because I see all these people with horrible stories who have it so much worse than me. It's almost like I feel I don't have the right to feel the way I do.
  7. jas

    jas Member

    Thanks to everyone that posted, it has helped :)
  8. DrNick1010

    DrNick1010 Well-Known Member

    I feel this way all the time too. I think depression just affects people in different ways. I think that I'm pretty good at hiding my depression, until someone gets really close to me and calls me out on it. I wonder a lot about how many other people suffer in silence.
  9. RumoursOfMyDemise

    RumoursOfMyDemise Well-Known Member

    I feel like this one hell of a lot. Loads of people in third world countries would kill to have my life - roof over my head, plenty food and water, a university level education, access to medical care, my own belongings, etc. I do feel a massive amount of guilt for being depressed when there are so many people in the world who are going through so much worse than me.
  10. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    There is always someone better off than you but I guess there are always people worse off than you too. I guess my life could suck even worse- but I'm not happy.

    Only thing that will make me happy is winning the lottery (a high amount at that) and it better happen soon as I don't have much time left.
  11. Sephaus

    Sephaus Well-Known Member

    I don't feel guilty for being depressed, I blame myself for the issues I have and how I let them control my actions, just so difficult to break the cycle, at least for me.
  12. TimboRN

    TimboRN New Member

    I most certainly do. I m getting divorced after 23 yrs., I had to move away to find a job. I m a nurse and a darn good one with compassion to help others. We are also, filing bankruptcy. Just today I was feeling grateful for this job and liking it. Two weeks ago, my daughters boyfriend killed himself. I told her I would never do that. This is after attempting twice. Now I think my job is on the line. I am on probation and I must have said something wrong or the County Sheriff took it the wrong way. His wife is terminal and has been put through hell. So, they are depressed and very stressed out. I got an e-mail that doesn't sound good. I m on probation and have to meet with my boss and HR director. If the Sheriff wants my job he will surely have it. If the County sees me as a liability, I will be gone. Now where do I go? What do I do? The more I try the worse things get. I feel like a criminal. I m so lost. I can't go home. I don't know where to go. My ex to be and kids count on me. I've let them down again. Right now I don't see any light. I must be a bad person.
  13. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    The cause could have been a certain type of behavior one of your parents had, just a minor thing would do it for a lifetime...
  14. twofeet

    twofeet Well-Known Member

    I feel like a leper when I'm depressed. Don't want to face anybody, or talk to anyone. A lot of my friends are depressed and I don't want to bring them down. The really really worst times are after I've been "normal" for awhile. Then I feel crooked to be so sad again: What am I doing wrong and what can I do to get out of it? There's got to be something, right? Sometimes you just have to sit it out. I think it helps to have something to do to stay busy until the winter storms pass.
  15. twofeet

    twofeet Well-Known Member

    To TimboRN -
    I'm afraid you are not a bad person. You are a pretty normal person. Some of us are just lucky to be born on the North Atlantic rather than some warm, turquoise lagoon in the south. If you are so inclined to carry that metaphor further, :huh: some of us have to learn to build better boats.
  16. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    I get this. What gives me the right to be unhappy? I get so angry when people say this to others, but I can't defend myself when it's said to me because it's true.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2011
  17. yamainu

    yamainu Member

    I am guilty for being so miserable around the person i care about.
    It brings him down too.
    How it relates to other people, though, I no longer care.
    Other people who "Have it worse", I feel bad for them, but has no bearing on my own experience, or why i feel the way i do.
  18. WhateverDan

    WhateverDan Member

    I feel pretty guilty about it because I have some family members who were very generous and bailed me out of debt so that I could go to university and "be happy" but unfortunately although the situation changed, I have remained the same which is frustrating for any number of reasons.
  19. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I have felt guilty about so many things over the years including depression. I have learned however that life gets bigger than me. Depression is a powerful disease of the brain. It is still not entirely understood by the scientific and medical community.

    As I've learned more about many things my feelings of guilt have lessened. My deepening religious belief has helped tremendously as well.

    While everyone has their own life path to travel, I'm glad we can share our experience and feelings here. Knowing that we are not alone in our suffering helps.
  20. Lizzieni

    Lizzieni Well-Known Member

    Definitely, its part of the disease i think. Caused by the fact that changing your thinking patterns is supposed to make you better - along with medication. So I feel guilty for not trying hard enough, or it not seeming to work.
    I also feel guilty as Ive been off work for over 18 months now with the illness. Most people where sympathetic to begin with, but feel i should be over it now. But definitely my biggest critic is me. And as said in previous posts - its a vicious circle.

    Stan Collymore - a sufferer posted this interesting pic on twitter:!/StanCollymore/status/141278538992058368/photo/1

    My psychologist tells me to be gentle with myself. I guess we all need to.

    Stay easy.
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