anyone else feel this way?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by wbg1234, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. wbg1234

    wbg1234 Member

    Does anyone else ever feel like two side of themselvs are fighting? Not like a split personality disorder , but ill argue with myself when im feeling really depressed, this is how it goes for example . " f*** you just kill yourself, no I wont, just do it you f****in pussy god youre dumb you cant get your s**t together f*** youre stupid, shutup!" It'll continur like that while I punch myself or choke myself till I black out. Theres nothing really wrong in my life so I dont know where this is coming from, I know it sounds crazy but its like two halfs of me fight.
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I don't think I've ever felt like that - but it sounds like you need to say this to a GP/doc of some sort.
  3. wbg1234

    wbg1234 Member

    Its extremely difficult to find a gp or doctor at all in my town so by the time I get an appointment im ok again and feel stupid talking about it. It all sounds dumb when I say how I feel when im down.
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Yes I used to feel this way when I suffered from bpd. I felt as though I was my own worst enemy. Combat those negative thoughts with forgiveness and determination. Forgive yourself for making mistakes and for not being perfect. Mistakes help us grow. Make up your mind to learn from your mistakes and try even harder when those discouraging thoughts attack you. Doing there's things will help you use those thoughts to fuel positive changes within yourself instead of negative ones. Blessings...
  5. wbg1234

    wbg1234 Member

    Its not just mistakes that'll set me off though, when im cooking sometimes something will go wrong and set me off, really anything and its like I get in a fight with myself
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you would be better served by professional advice. This is a peer-to-peer forum, and even if you believe you are ok when you go to talk about it, it's better to have some level of understanding and support for that, than trying to work through this alone or with people on similar experiences - as everyone reacts differently.
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, wbg1234. Sure sounds like a rough go for you, whatever way you look at it. :( I would be very confused/scared if that were happening to me. I'd want it to stop.

    Fighting_the_tide offers a valid point: we can offer you support here, but we can't diagnose or treat you. There are many things that can affect our thinking and behavior...some of them are physical health problems, but only a thorough check up by a doctor will find out if that's what's going on. When issues are complicating or disrupting daily life as it seems they are for you, it might be time to get to the doc for a complete check up.

    I hope you'll keep posting and let us know how you're doing. We'll support you as best as we can as you figure out how you want to handle things. I hope all this settles down for you soon. :hug:
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It doesn't sound dumb. To me-that seems actually natural for someone who suffers with depression. Remember-depression is a nasty thing and lies to you, thats why you are still here, cos you fought the thoughts, well done to you for doing that and not acting on impulse. Also, I'd just like to say I hope you do see a professional, don't feel silly or dumb, the doctor will have heard it all before.