Anyone else feel this way?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TaylorCameron, Feb 9, 2012.

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  1. TaylorCameron

    TaylorCameron Member

    I have wished to end my life for a long time now.

    Recently I gathered different materials to do this painlessly- I have 3 methods.

    BUT the tears, the fears, and the pain,the anxiety and the depression have eased now.I don't feel TRAPPED anymore!

    I am at home mostly ( I do some work from home).I don't leave often, and don't see a lot of people.But I am never bored and easily find activities that make me happy ( such as pets, an empty hockey field adjacent to my house, video games, books, surfing the web, watching films, and listening to music- lots of music!.)

    Some family members have judged me on my introverted way of life, but screw them.I do NOT interfere with their business.For example my older brother got a whole lot of tattoos a while back.Comments were thrown around, but I just smiled :) and said to myself," as long he's happy."

    At the present I am mentally stable ( I think).I do have an intense interest in the topic of death, and research articles on suicide etc frequently.I find the process almost beautiful ( when it is carried out by yourself.) I strongly believe that every person has the right to end their life- And the majority of people opposed to this philosophy are religious.

    Just know that I am an atheist.There are no gods for me.We are highly advanced animals, a product of evolution.So I care not for 'souls' or the afterlife.And morality is a biological adaptation.To take away the rights of another human is where I cross the line ( be it thievery,rape or murder). But this is my brain which is forming these words and thoughts.And my body that houses this brain.So should it's fate not be determined by me alone( save for chance;I could get injured in a car wreck tomorrow etc.)

    Anyone keen to chat on this topic?
  2. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    I still struggle with the God part, but otherwise... we seem to see things the same way. I'm introverted as well and don't really need other people as much as some do. I feel guilty about that though. And I have friends who make me feel like I'm "messed up" because I don't always want to go out all the time... don't like large crowds, etc. Seems like I've spent way too much time in life thinking I'm not "enough" in one way it another. Have you struggled with that, or are you just naturally settled about it?

    I'm also 100% about people needing to be responsible for their lives, including when they become done with it. I struggle with feeling responsible for leaving pain behind, but also feel that this is not a reason to stay.
  3. TaylorCameron

    TaylorCameron Member

    The leaving pain behind... is not a reason to stay, no.After all the people who would have you stay are the same ones who insist life is full of pain and we must deal with it.Can they practice what they preach?

    I don't mind being the way I am.So yes I am satisfied with being introverted etc.I will not change my personality for the sole purpose of satisfying others, nor will I tolerate judgement because of it.
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