Normally when I have suicidal feelings it's because I'm depressed or anxious (or most likely both) and just desperately want to get off the emotional roller coaster. A few weeks ago (September 30th, to be exact), I came the closest I've ever come to actually doing it. I was alone, I had the means, and I knew that I could go through with it right then. There was no doubt, no fear. And I felt happy, practically euphoric. I was excited to just go and do it, like it was Christmas morning. Recently I've thought about how gravestones have two dates, and that we all know the first date, but few of us learn the second date until right before it happens. I just remember feeling serene that I finally knew what that second date on my gravestone was going to be. While I was in the hospital, one of my fellow patients said that it was probably because I had made the decision to do it, and felt relieved. And it is true that this is the first time when I've set a precise date and time. I was thinking "today, September 30th, 2011, I am going to end my life". Has anyone else felt this way when they've attempted or come close to attempting suicide?