Anyone else have a deformity?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by stripedwalls, Mar 7, 2011.

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  1. stripedwalls

    stripedwalls Guest

    So, I'm 21 and about a year ago I acquired a facial deformity. I don't want to go into details.

    But does anyone else have to deal with this? Because I don't know how to. Beaches and outside and sun was my life - I was all set to move to Miami for an internship, I just needed to get on the plane - but I'm not allowed to go in the sun anymore.

    When I do cover up and go out the staring is too much to bear. So aside from three brave outings in the past year I've just sat in my room at my parents house and just tried to escape my own mind.

    My life came together beautifully up until a year ago. After driving myself crazy in high school about where I was going in life, I finally discovered what I wanted to do, found the place to do it, and was so unbelievably close to having exactly what I wanted. Then I lost it all and I can't help but wondering what the point of living is if you can't live the way you want to.

    And my hobbies? Acting...and singing... Being the center of attention is great when it's positive, but not like this.
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that this happened to you. Do you want to say more about how things almost came together?

    Is plastic surgery not a possibility?
     
  3. stripedwalls

    stripedwalls Guest

    There isn't much else to say about it really. I was a few months from leaving to a place I wanted to live in a nice warm climate, where I would be getting paid to learn a job I wanted to do. It's just the way I figured things out and how the opportunities came up that was just...perfect.

    I could get surgery... it's impossible to completely fix it, but it could help. But getting money would require a job and I cannot stand going in public. So I'm stuck until I either man up or... well that's the only option it seems.
     
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    do you think that you might be eligible for medicaid? I don't know if medicaid would cover plastic surgery, but maybe.

    Also, sometimes dr.'s will do work on a sliding scale basis

    I wonder if it would be possible to get a loan to get the surgery?

    Could you borrow money from family members?

    If you could get some advice from someone who knows about government programs and the medical system, you might be able to get some help.
     
  5. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    That's terrible... I had a cyst for 8 months. It's not a deformity, but I hated it. More than anything else.

    I'm thinking back to that night now... :cry2:
     
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    :console: :console:
     
  7. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    Its all in the heart that counts.
     
  8. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    r u by any chance ryan ?
    yes i do
     
  9. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Kinda. I was born with an almost unnoticeable birth defect on my lips. When my mouth is closed, that's when you can see it. Each side is asymmetrical, with one lip being shaped different from the other. God, I abhor it.

    I realize it doesn't compare to your predicament, though.
     
  10. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    im deformed
     
  11. Hey.

    I don't have a deformity but I have Epilepsy. The seizures started right before I was going off to University when I was 19. I spent the next six years on my parents couch going from seizure to seizure. I know its not the same but I know what it feels like to have your dreams snatched away. I was brutally depressed for a long time and still struggle.

    What you're feeling is very real and I can empathize. My thoughts are with you.

    -Deedee
     
  12. n'cest pas

    n'cest pas Member

    I understand very well how you feel. My deformity is age. I will tell you what people tell me all the time. Your personality is more important than your looks. Anyone who is worth having in your life will see you as a person, not a face. At your age anything is possible.

    That is not to say that you shouldn't plan to have any plastic surgery that makes you feel good (and I am sure there are special programs/assistance that might finance that.....see everyone you can....get on the phone and ask around....hell! phone Oprah....phone Dr Oz.....whatever it takes)

    You are young and talented (or you wouldn't have had the opportunity to have your dream job in the first place!)
     
  13. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    I don't have a deformity as such but I've got several scars and embarrassing body issues. Things tht are self inflicted and others I was born with. I also had a problem with trichotillomania hair pulling, wen this gets bad I feel so self conscious hiding bald patches etc. The other things cause a lot of self image issues and can never feel ok when its visible to others.

    I knw this is a pretty poor comparison but I guess I can understand how u must feel I hope u can find some kind of acceptance in yourself its wats inside tht counts even tho ppl are shallow visual beings. I think you deserve to do the things you aspire to do regardless and learn to live with it as best u can. Best wishes to you ! X
     
  14. Jay I wish I could put you in touch with my husband.

    He was born healthy, a 10 pound happy baby boy.

    12 months later, he was diagnosed with cancer.

    The tumors were in his throat and lung, and one wound up crushing his pituitary gland. Because of this, he could never grow on his own. He took growth hormones at $10,000 a pop until he was tall enough to drive, and then he quit. He is now 5'2" and his brothers are 6'4".

    His teeth aren't his own, and his jaw is completely screwed up. He looks like a science project, because he was one and still is. Every doctor he sees thinks they might know how to fix it, and put him through all kinds of tests and such.

    Everywhere we go, we get strange stares from people. I know it's painful for him.

    Some time before we met, he became an alcoholic and was very suicidal. He would often drive drunk in an attempt to kill himself. Then he checked into a mental hospital where he met a lot of people whose lives were greatly touched by his story.

    He is now going to school to be an addictions counselor. He has a severe speech impediment, and is legally deaf, but he is using the curse bestowed upon him to bless people with optimism and compassion.

    You can do it. It's rough, but if you have a story to tell, them damn it, tell it! Reach for your star and do what you want to do. You are stuck in that body but don't let it destroy your soul. YOU ARE NOT YOUR FACE.

    I suggest you read "Autobiography of a Face" by Lucy Grealy.

    You. Are. Not. Alone.
    And you are not impaired!

    As my husband says: "I have a disability, but I am NOT disabled!"
     
  15. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    As the poster above says "YOU ARE NOT YOUR FACE".
     
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