Anyone else like to sabotage everything that is good

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lainylou, Oct 8, 2016.

  1. lainylou

    lainylou Active Member

    Why do I do this? Does anybody else feel this way. Something good comes along, you want it but you dont.
    You let it go, then want it back. Everythings ok but then you feel like you have to cause an arguement but then somehow you believe that its the other persons fault!!!!

    Doing my head in. Along with the depression, anxiety and general messed up head what the hell am I doing more to the point WHY. Why cant I just get along with life without conflict. Not feeling right unless im worrying, obsessing or seeing things that arnt there.

    Desperate :(
     
    Frances M likes this.
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Hi,

    I kind of see how you feel, though I don't relate directly. My bf self-sabotages all the time. It's based on fear. In our case, he's terrified I'll leave him, so he starts terrible arguments, says awful things and generally "tests" me to see if I'll actually leave him. It's very self-destructive but it's his way of somehow controlling his fears. If I do it, then he's been right all along about me. He also sabotages himself when he's feeling bad, and this is due to feelings of inadequacy. If he feels bad about something, he'll do something worse to feel even worse.

    Is there something that you're so afraid of that maybe you're pushing to see if it'll happen so you can validate your feelings?

    These are just my thoughts, I wanted to reply to you so you don't feel alone, but maybe someone else is better suited to talk to you if they can relate better. Hope you're doing okay. xx
     
    Heath2016 likes this.
  3. lainylou

    lainylou Active Member

    Ahh that sounds a lot like me.. It makes sense. Thank you for replying...
    Feels like im insane most of the time
     
    Frances M likes this.
  4. Burgundyrose

    Burgundyrose Member

    @lainylou yes, I think subconsciously I do this a lot. I haave a super short temper. Sometimes, I can see myself starting an argument, and I can see that I'm wrong but I can't stop myself. Most of the time I end up blaming someone else and then feeling sorry for myself. I think @Frances M has the right idea of it tho. A lot of it is caused by fear. I tend to use anger as a defense when I'm sad or scared. Because if I'm scared of rejection, the best solution is to reject that person myself and not get hurt by them. Just a thought, but I can relate. Hopefully for us both we can find a way to cope with this
     
    Frances M likes this.