i have about had it with putting a smile on my face while i see everyone else close to me doing so great and looking so happy. WHY am i the loser of the group, my family? WHY am i a fucken drug addict anf a alcoholic and everyone else is sober? WHY do i even exist when there is NOTHING left for me? i am tired of talking, it does NOTHING to make me feel better, i dont see any form of happiness for me and i dont want to be around anymore.