Anyone else?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered420420420, Aug 4, 2008.

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  1. my worst form of SI is picking at my skin. does anyone else have this problem? i do it almost every time i go to the bathroom. i lose myself while doing this, and will sometimes pick for over an hour at a time. help please
  2. FER-EAKY!!!!! :blink:

    Not you - the topic! I was just gonna post this in another section/thread (so no - you're not alone - and i thought I WAS the 'weird' one!!)...

    "Is this a ‘Weird’ Form of Self-Harm?

    I guess I’m still curious, even as I’m now older. I’ve never really asked anyone else about this before! Never met anyone else either. And I’m not making light of it, but was wondering if anyone else does this. For as long as I can remember – since I was a child, I’ve been picking the skin around my fingernails. I NEVER bit my nails – just always the skin around them. And I don’t mean just pick – I mean sometimes till it bleeds, to the third layer of skin – I pick with my other fingers, I scan/rub with my other fingers sometimes obsessively, I chew determinedly – looking for another loose piece of skin that I can pick or bite off. It’s not as gross as looking like RATS chewed on ‘em, but definitely mice! (What IS gross is after I come out of the bath!! I think you know what I mean)

    I don’t think I do it cuz I’m nervous – it’s more like absent-mindedly – but it can get obsessive like it has in the last while. And yeah – it often hurts! But it’s only like these little moments of pain. (And I actually like it – that is – when it’s over) And I love the taste of blood – that iron-y flavour. It also feels like a “control thing” to me I guess – but I’ve been doing it so long, I never really thought about it. Of course, it’s worked out better than some other “control” things I’ve tried – it’s not bad for my liver, my weight or my lungs!! (Booze, over-eating, or chain-smoking). And frankly, it’s, well – so damned satisfying!! Anyone else “enjoy” this??

    ~ Weird Me :huh: "

    P.S. - of late, I've also taken to [obsessively] picking 'scabs' off these strange skin blemishes that I've had for several months (they don't seem to go away on their own, whether i pay attention to them or not - and they BUG me! :mad:)

    FEEL BETTER???? :smile:
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    You are not alone. Not at all.

    For me, there is a definite pattern to when it happens/what triggers it, such as when I'm really stressed about something (current situation or from the past). It can be triggered by the topic of a TV show; my current, real-life issues; thinking about certain things - i.e., reminders of the past. Anything that creates unpleasant feelings that I can't express for one reason or another.

    For me, SI is the release of the stress/anxiety/anger/sadness because I'm "letting out" (more like "trying to get rid") of "flaws" in my skin (I think maybe I'm equating physical flaws that barely exist to perceived flaws in me as a person that I need to be punished for or the flaws in me that show I'm not "good enough".). If I catch my self doing it, I try to stop immediately. Sometimes it takes quite a while before I catch myself.

    Such vicious damage. It's not good. I regret it every time!

    I very, very seriously urge all SIers (any method) to break this habit/addictive coping mechanism as soon as you possibly can. From my own experience, in those times when I do feel about life and myself, the scars just remind me of stuff and times that I'd rather leave alone and be able to say "I have dealt with that stuff now."

    Well, well. -sighs very deeply- (This is one of my darker and dirtier secrets. TBH, I'm surprised I've shared it at all. Eeeeeeeeek.)

    To all of us who SH, good luck in developing healthy coping mechanisms!

    (I'm sorry this was kind of long.)

    :hug: to all,

  4. spent way to long today... it is so impulsive and so hard to stop once you start a session.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    And yet another one crawls out to reveal the same thing. Me I either tear off my little toenails from either foot, pull layers of skin from the heels of me feet or keep picking at small scabs on my arms that never seem to go away. Eeeewwww. Wow never really realized just how gross this is. Been doing it as long as I can remember the actual cutting has just come up in the past 7 years or so. And yep definitely stressed related even an intense movie can have me picking at the toenails.
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I have a similar thing. When I get stressed I pull at my eyelashes. I have literally pulled out every single lash at one point and it looks awful. Thankfully, I got it under control and don't do it anymore, but it took a LOT of discipline because when they grow back they start to itch and that really drives me nutso :) I'll still pull a few once in awhile, but not nearly to that extent. You CAN stop. It's possible.
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    The sad thing is though that the more I think about trying to stop the more anxious I become and find myself back at it. Viscious circle.
  8. Elle.

    Elle. Well-Known Member

    You are definitely not alone in this. My older sister used to pick the skin around her fingernails, mainly her thumbs. They looked horrible and she was imbaressed to show her hands to strangers. The skin around her nails was basically one red open wound with like pieces of skin coming loose.. not pleasant

    Anyway, one day she got fed up n she just told herself 'im going to stop this' and she held on (amazingly) and now her fingers look fine!

    It can be cured in many ways though, it's basically a bad habit like any other (biting nails, scratchin open zits, pulling eyelashes, etc.)

    Takes diciplin but can be done

  9. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    Oh my :blink: here i thought i was the only one who did such things obsessively.. for ages ive picked at the skin on both thumbs until it bleeds and often until i cant even use them...

    ALSO get picking at my toenails and 99% of the time once i start i end up pulling out the nails on both little toes.. :mellow:

    goes to show im not the only one...
  10. ..........

    .......... Guest

    My mother picks the underfoot of her heel she's done it for years and her toenails I actually did a project on it and about hair a few years ago. We all think it was a vomit inducing bad habit (didn't think it was a self harm thing) but then again...ya know, she just zones out in front of the television with feet scrapings gathering at the foot of the chair :puke: could she be self harming without even knowing it?
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