Anyone elses therapist like this?

[claycad]

Don't get me wrong, my therapist is good but some things I disagree with her on.

First, I'm a college student. I'm an art major. I'm major in art, not because I am interested in art but because I can't do math and art has the least amount of math requirements of any major or my university.

I recently told my therapist about me not wanting to be an art major and it was a sham. She asked what I would really like to be, I said I have always wanted to be a computer engineer, but I couldn't do the math. She said I could do the math and I just have a poor perception of myself, she tried to convince me to take a few courses in computer science next semester.

Now I am all for the power of positive thinking, but this is dangerous advice. If I took a CS class and failed -and fail I would - well, I would feel like a failure and it would add more fuel to the fire. Some people are not as intelligent as others, that's just life. I have struggled with math all through school and have failed no matter how hard I tried. Maybe it is because I was dropped on my head as a baby, who knows just bad genetics probably. But my opinion is, not everyone can do what they put their mind to, that is total bunk. I appreciate my therapist being supportive, but I think that it is incorrect and dangerous advice for a professional to give out. She needs to give more realistic advice IMO. I want some facts, not fairy tails.

She is also way to supportive sometimes. I need support, but sometimes I feel she praises me like you would praise a 5 y/o kid instead of an adult. Anybody else’s therapists do this?

 

[non_existence]

i've never had a therapist. but what i would recommend is to find a Buddhist monk and talk to him about your issues. after talking to you for 5 seconds he'll actually know significantly MORE about you than you do yourself [mostly just from reading your subtle body language (of which you are never aware of)] and they'll give you the best possible advice in the world. and it'll be free unlike a therapist.

seriously try that, you shan't be disappointed.

Don't get me wrong, my therapist is good but some things I disagree with her on.

First, I'm a college student. I'm an art major. I'm major in art, not because I am interested in art but because I can't do math and art has the least amount of math requirements of any major or my university.

I recently told my therapist about me not wanting to be an art major and it was a sham. She asked what I would really like to be, I said I have always wanted to be a computer engineer, but I couldn't do the math. She said I could do the math and I just have a poor perception of myself, she tried to convince me to take a few courses in computer science next semester.

Now I am all for the power of positive thinking, but this is dangerous advice. If I took a CS class and failed -and fail I would - well, I would feel like a failure and it would add more fuel to the fire. Some people are not as intelligent as others, that's just life. I have struggled with math all through school and have failed no matter how hard I tried. Maybe it is because I was dropped on my head as a baby, who knows just bad genetics probably. But my opinion is, not everyone can do what they put their mind to, that is total bunk. I appreciate my therapist being supportive, but I think that it is incorrect and dangerous advice for a professional to give out. She needs to give more realistic advice IMO. I want some facts, not fairy tails.

She is also way to supportive sometimes. I need support, but sometimes I feel she praises me like you would praise a 5 y/o kid instead of an adult. Anybody else’s therapists do this?

 

[claycad]

i've never had a therapist. but what i would recommend is to find a Buddhist monk and talk to him about your issues. after talking to you for 5 seconds he'll actually know significantly MORE about you than you do yourself [mostly just from reading your subtle body language (of which you are never aware of)] and they'll give you the best possible advice in the world. and it'll be free unlike a therapist.

seriously try that, you shan't be disappointed.

There are two problems with that. The first is I live absolutely no where near a Buddhist monastery and would have no idea where to find anyone who was a Buddhist and especially a Buddist monk and I have no money to travel anywhere to meet a Buddhist monk so it would my no means be free. Travel costs big bucks.

Second. You know that movie "Little Buddha" well its a 1993 movie and Keanu Reeves plays Buddha. That's right. Keanu Reeves. Buddha. Every time I see Keanu Reeves in a movie all I can think about is Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. So By Keanu Reeves playing the role of Buddha, all I can think about is him as Ted Logan, so in my mind Buddha and Ted Logan are the same person = not good. DAMN YOU KEANU REEVES FOR RUINING BUDDISM FOR ME!...jk.

But I don’t doubt that a Buddhist monk could drop some serious knowledge on my ass. I have no doubts they are wise.

But my therapy is free. Well, not free per se. I use the university services so my tuition covers it and I pay tuition anyway, so I might as well use all the "free" services I can while I'm in college. She's a great therapist, I just think by telling me I can do something I am not capable of doing, she is setting me up to fail and I don't need anymore failures in my life.

 

[TLA]

hey-
I don't have a T at this time, but many many in the past.
You might not have a good fit with her/him. How much experience do they have under their belt? Where did they attend training? Did you tell them you disagreed with that advice? Some professionals believe in encouragement not reality. Maybe they did not listen to what you SAID.

I can relate to your choosing a college major based on skill and levels. I may have done same, but now am out of that field. This woman I knew years ago, majored in Biology and she worked in a bank???!! So, you never know. I chose education. My reason was that I knew I would be good as a teacher. I was, but had untreated bipolar that jeopardized my career. Talk to the college advisor. Maybe you need to transfer to another school. You have to know you will be doing your job for the majority of your life. you have to like it and be good.

I feel the way you chose your major is not the best way to do it. If you like computers, look into smaller business/computer tech schools. We have several in Texas. Like MTI or NIT. I knew 2 guys that went there-both came out very well. Explore your options! One of the guys wanted the engineering route like you, but was very poor in English he grad top of his class. Was so great. The math can be limited and there is peer assistance.

In relation to math abilities, I can relate to that well!!! I failed college math so many times, I gave up. It was not funny anymore. My 2nd cousin was a math teacher. She helped me tremondously. Without her help I would not have graduated. The only catch, this was right after my first suicide attempt (Bipolar, Depression)...a bad time to be studying to graduate from college. I was IN the hospital STUDING! (sh**) I passed the math class, went to graduate and did not remembered s--- of the day. Luckily my aunt made a video. haha

Sorry so long, if you want to chat PM me.
Good going,
TLA

 

[claycad]

TLA, thanks for the advice. My therapist has a masters degree, so that is something. She is young, so I don't know how much experience she actually has. She seems very well at helping me connect with her. She will say a lot of things that make me think "Wow, she really understands how I feel" I don't know if she does really understand how I feel, but at least she makes it sound like she does.

I liked what you said about some therapists believe in encouragement not reality. That’s what I am thinking. She’s just one of those "you can do it if you only put your mind to it" types. I know I have a poor perception of my abilities, and she knows it too. But even with the poor perception I have I feel well aware of what I am and am not capable of doing.

As far as my art major, it’s not so bad. I am taking graphic design, so I can use my love of computers to use programs such as Adobe Photoshop etc to create art.

While I would rather be creating programs like that instead of just using them, it isn't a total impossibility for me to have a somewhat fulfilling career as a graphic designer.