I won't go into too too much detail cause if I did I could ramble on for pages about the whole experience but..this has been my main source of depression and suicidal feelings for years. My mom used to be the most amazing mom ever. She loved everyone unconditionally, worked hard all day and was always there for everyone whenever they needed her. Then at some point, I don't even remember why when or how, but she started taking pain killers. Might of been from her getting hurt at work, or was sometime after my father left her for the second time, I'm not sure. I can't even remember the progressive downfall, all I can think or remember of her is how it's been the past few years. Every day, literally every day she just complains shes in pain. Every day shes miserable. Shes been rushed to the ER multiple times, one time staying in the hospital a whole month straight, been put into multiple detox clinics, seen multiple doctors. Was diagnosed first with fibromyalgia, and put on heavy, heavy amounts of painkillers. oxys, the whole deal. It got go bad she used to actually have me put the pills in her mouth cause for whatever reason she was too out of it to put them in there and swallow. And sometimes I'd even have to pull them out and grab the pill box from her to stop her from killing herself. Real fucked up shit to do to someone you love more than anything. It's not as bad as that now..but shes so unhappy. She just sits in her room all day in the dark, watching TV or surfing the web. Shes also doing online college courses as well. The main thing is though there's just..no hope. I can't do anything for her or to make it better. It's endless. Being around her is so depressing that the last time she was forced to go to the ER I just..snapped inside. I couldn't cry anymore, I just hated her. I hated life for having this happen, I don't even know if this is her doing or some sick twist of fate thrown upon her. Either way I can't deal. So I just avoid her, stare blankly at her when she talks about how much pain shes in. I hate myself for it. I guess this ended up being longer than I planned but..has anyone been through anything like this? How did you cope?