Anyone ever feel "not depressed enough"?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Milton, Apr 30, 2010.

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  1. Milton

    Milton Well-Known Member

    So I originally started writing this in the depression forum, but it ended up feeling a little off-topic. I've no idea where to put this, hopefully this will do. Also I don't really know how to phrase this properly, so I'll do what I can and hopefully it'll make sense.

    So I look around at the threads here, and I remember how I was ~18 months ago when I first joined SF, and I compare all that to how am I now. And now I'm a lot better than I was. I still feel depressed, I still feel suicidal, I started self harming again, but none of it is as severe as it was, like I don't cut as deeply or as often, I don't really plan suicide I just sort of think about it. And I look at the people here who are really having problems, who are really struggling, and I feel like a fraud.

    I guess in some ways, this looks like progress. Except somewhere in the middle, between where I am now and where I was in December 08 or whenever, I was much better than this. So I've sort of gone from being really depressed and suicidal to being fairly normal to being kind of vaguely depressed. So I just feel like a fraud, and it's not just people like those here at SF I'm defrauding, it's me as well. The old me, who really was depressed and really did need help. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, I guess I just wonder if anyone can relate to these experiences.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Firstly, I am so glad you are not where you were; secondly, if you feel you are slipping, talk to someone about it...nothing is in a straight line and that is scary...wishing you continued progress...and no, you are not a fraud...you are human and we tend to be highly complicated (not according to Hawking, though)...big hugs, J
     
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Not all people here are severely depressed and suicidal all the time. Some people are here cos of loads of reasons. I mainly deal with life threatening flashbacks......so you know- you don't need to feel like a fraud.

    It's good you're feeling better and you can see the changes, I look back and I can't believe how far I've come myself. :smile:
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    you're not a fraud....I'm glad you got to feel "normal" for a time.......hope you get some help before you slip too far back down...
     
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